This is a continuation of How the Red Pill Fucked Me Up (Part 1), and a guest post by Erik Villalobos
Early into my “awakening” from Red Pill, I picked up a copy of the PWF Online Dating Blueprint. A friend told me to read it to distract myself from the breakup. As I read through the product I said to myself, “WTF?! This is online dating – there’s no way I’m gonna do this shit! This goes against everything the Red Pill has taught me.”
I was caught up in the limiting belief that online dating was a buffer and shouldn’t be used to meet girls. So I took a breather, decided to put my fucking ego aside, and I went through the product in its entirety. Most of what I read went against my ego investment belief system about the Red Rill after being so immersed in it for two years. But, I had success. Massive success. I started having hot girls come straight to my house, multiple times a week.
So, I want to talk about how the Red Pill differentiates from the PWF model, with a few specific concrete examples.
Incorrect Red Pill Belief 1: A young guy in his mid 20s or even early 30s should only date younger girls & not date older women.
This is such a fucking stupid belief that I held onto and that the Red Pill repeats a lot. I missed out on many opportunities with some of the hottest older women & MILFs that were DTF that night. But instead I wrote them off because in my mind they were past the “The Wall” (a Red Pill term used for when a woman hits 30). PWF completely changed my mind about writing off older women.
Just because they are older doesn’t mean you can’t date them or have them in your rotation. Yes, they’re not hot as they used to be when they were younger, but that shouldn’t give you a reason to write them off completely because of their age. This is just a very suboptimal approach. Not only are you missing out on hot older women & MILFs, but you’re most certainly not improving and developing your own social / dating skills.
Side note: older women have a lot way more experience.
Incorrect Red Pill Belief 2: You should not give women compliments or show any sign of empathy with them whatsoever.
This one was tough for me. Honestly it still kinda is, but I’m working on it. The Red Pill preaches that just because you give a girl a compliment (such as on a dating app), you lose some part of your “Manhood” or that’s just not what an “Alpha Man” does. This is complete horse shit – how do you plan on meeting a girl if you’re not running text game on her (for example, flirting with her over text using the “we frame”)?
In the PWF Mastermind, I saw Indian PE give some guy a lesson about the differences between validating and qualifying a girl online. Validation is unnecessary qualification. Qualification is a way to get her to your level. Unnecessary qualifications examples are “you were so pretty and such a great smile”. Qualification simply translates to you having standards and that a girl has to earn herself a spot in your life by possessing those attributes. Understanding this – that complimenting a girl, when done right, is qualifying her – has been game changing for me.
Incorrect Red Pill Belief 3: If a girl reschedules on you on the day of the date, it means she’s not into you, and you should just tell her to fuck off.
This used to be me. Every time a girl would reschedule on me, I’d assume that she wasn’t into me or that she is fucking someone else that day of our date. This is huge in the Red Pill Community amongst angry bitter young dudes and even old men. They let their egos get in the way, come up with the most stupidest assumptions, and then they go into Red Pill Meathead Mode, telling the girl to “fuck off bitch my time is valuable.”
The way PWF handles a reschedule is to not jump straight to conclusions and not just completely write her off. Remember, women are humans and have a life, too. Sometimes their reschedules are real, life does get in the way sometimes. I’ve learned to just brush off Tinder girls who flake as no big fucking deal. I send her a text that shows you’re unfazed by her rescheduling. Most likely than not she will appreciate this, and she might even hit you up later that same night, or you can just reschedule with her in a non-needy way. Of course you should still draw a line when a girl keeps rescheduling on you, not respecting your time, and call her out on it — but without coming across being butt hurt.
Incorrect Red Pill Belief 4: Using online dating apps is a buffer. An excuse to not go up to talk to girls in real life. Therefore, if you use dating apps, you’re a pussy.
This one makes me laugh at so many levels. When I was involved in the Red Pill community, when I’d see other guys on dating apps running their text game I’d make fun of them (damn I had such a huge ego and so much pride at the time). Because what’s preached in the Red Pill community that you should not be using dating apps; that it’s really not any form of game.
I do agree that if you’re serious about your dating life, you should be running day game or night game. Cold approaching women improves your social skills and helps you get over your fear of approach anxiety. But there does come a point at which you will eventually burn the fuck out. So, I believe you should have both tools at your disposal, and not just heavily rely on one, but instead balance both of them out.
Not only did PWF change my mindset on this, but it definitely saved me a lot of time. I can swipe left or right when in between my workout sets, while I’m taking a dump, as I’m taking a walk, and I even have my little sister at times swipe for me when I’m busy (she knows my type, loves swiping for me, and knows I love me some cute and curvy Latinas). The options are endless with online dating, and they will just continue to get bigger as more of the best dating apps come out.
With highly professional photos on your profile, a well written bio, and running optimal text game, you’re literally beating 99% of the guys out there.
Incorrect Red Pill Belief 5: Paying for a girl’s Uber for her to come to your place automatically makes you a beta provider to her.
I’ll save the best for last! Many of the men in the Red Pill community like to call other men who get a girl an Uber to come back to their place for a date a “Beta Provider” and say you are “losing your ‘manhood’” or “that’s just not what an ‘Alpha Male’ does.” Again, I lost so many many lays because of this false belief.
First off, if the Uber is the difference between the girl coming or not, you’re losing a lay (meanwhile, I can hear the guys in the Red Pill community saying fuck that shit that pussy ain’t worth the squeeze). Not only are you losing a lay, but you’re also missing out on having a good time with a cute girl. You’re taking life way too fucking seriously. The girl will then just think to herself, “Wtf? This dude wants to meet me, we already made plans, I’m willing to go to his home and sleep with him… yet he’s complaining about not getting me an Uber? How cheap of him.” Not only did you waste a bunch of emotional energy through your text game, you’ve wasted each other’s time. But now you’re left horny, regretting that you should’ve gotten her an Uber in the first place instead of having blue balls all night long.
Conclusion: Moving from Red Pill to PWF
Those are just some of the many few misconceptions and false notions from the Red Pill community, and how dramatically different Playing with Fire is. Since I abandoned Red Pill, my perspective on women has changed drastically. Granted, there are still areas I’m working on, but it’s nothing my psyche can’t recover from.
I learned to live an authentic lifestyle, live truthfully, and put my ego aside. I read the PWF product, learned text game, and put myself out there in the dating scene again. Instantaneously I started getting lays girl after girl on the first night using text game. I was having so much success from it – and I was enjoying the girls I was spending time with.
I joined the PWF forums and even started helping out other dudes with their text game. One thing that caught my attention was that there were no angry guys in the PWF forums hating, whining, or complaining about women. What a huge difference from Red Pill. That’s what I loved most about it, so I continued to learn text game watching Alex’s videos, tweaking my text game even more, and going through the product several times.
Similarly, as I started watching Alex’s videos, I noticed that he wasn’t this angry dude. Unlike all the other “Red Pill gurus” on YouTube. He’s just a cool, calm, collected dude that is not angry and isn’t whining about things like how all women are evil, how you should not date single moms, or that older women are past “The Wall”.
Since I picked up the PWF product, I’ve gone from learning to now helping guys on the forums and mastermind. So here I am, having gone from Red Pill devotee, to helping out normal guys with their text game, mindsets, and inner and outer game. This is something that I’ve become very passionate about. My evolution has been amazing.
At the same time, I’ve learned to balance some of the Red Pill concepts (not all of which are wrong; it’s more so that they get taken way too far to a toxic extent). For example, yes, women are driven by their emotions. However, there’s no problem showing any form of empathy towards them or complimenting them with true authentic intent in what you find attractive in them without coming across needy. That’s not to say be a weak beta bitch and let women walk all over you. You definitely have to have backbone. You show her by your actions that you will not tolerate any type of disrespectful behavior, and you set boundaries so that they don’t cross the line with you. So yes, studying female psychology is still paramount when it comes to dating. It’s a great tool to have in your dating arsenal. And yes, it’s better for you as a man to understand this as to not let women’s emotions get the best out of yours. For example, women communicate much more covertly rather than overtly like us men do. There’s just a big difference between understanding female psychology, and taking it to a toxic, anti-woman extent the way the Red Pill community does.