I’m here to bust a really popular dating myth: that you need to take a girl out or have this elaborate “String Quartet date” to woo her before you can take her home and hump her brains out. The fact is, you can get laid on Tinder much more easily and consistently than this. At Playing with Fire, we believe in this concept called the “fuck date.” Unlike a public first date, the fuck date involves having her come straight to your house. By coming to your house, she knows there’s at least some chance she’s going to have sex with you. This type of date is even more valuable during this COVID pandemic, since many places have closed venues, and some girls won’t want to go out in public too much. I’m going to give you the 6 key rules to follow to set up a proper fuck date, implicitly or explicitly. A lot of dating coaches say that there needs to be “connection” built before you can invite a girl over and have sex with you. Truth is, in many cases, that’s not needed at all. What actually matters is that you’re a normal guy who knows how to pick up on cues that a girl actually may be down to come over and have the night of her life.
1. Screen through your bio.
This is the first step to setting up a fuck date. The girl needs to view you as somewhat of a “fuckboi,” or someone who’s on the app with sex as his main motivation. This doesn’t mean you go full on aggressive and put something on your bio saying “Looking for hookups or 😺”. The idea is to be subtle with your Tinder bio. For example, adding buzzwords like “Dominant”, “Oral expert”, “Cuddler”, “Expert pillow fighter”. Anything that can be linked to the bedroom.
2. Use sexual qualifiers in your bio, too.
Have some physical qualifiers in your bio that again point towards sex. For example, “Nice booty”, “Submissive”, “Enjoys hair pulling”, etc. These can be at the end of the bio so that it doesn’t come across as too aggressive to the girls.
3. Get her intrigued from the opener.
This is not critical, but when you don’t want to waste any time, you’ll want to set the tone of the entire interaction early on. You want to get her intrigued. A bait opener can help a lot with this. For example: “Can I be honest”, “You may just be my type” “Swiped right for one of my weaknesses”. We have a complete guide to the best Tinder openers in 2020 that can help you if you’re not creative.
4. Show intent.
This is where your physical qualifiers for the girl will help. If you went the “You may just be my type” route, you’d need to slip in keywords like “Submissive”, “nice booty”, “someone with a wild side”. All of these can be segues to progress the interaction sexually.
- If you’re taking the submissive route, you can talk about how you’d dominate her. Don’t have to go all out with it, but you can start off with something as simple as “Handcuffs” or “Tying her up”. The key is to not go 0-100 too quick. In some cases, you can if she bites onto it well (Will breakdown in an LR to follow)
- If you’re taking the booty route, make sure to make her qualify the booty to you. “Can it handle a good set of spankings?” , “It’s nice enough to deserve my booty massage?”
- “How are your cuddle skills?”. This is a lower bar of entry since every girl likes to cuddle and when you cuddle, it’s inevitable for what is to follow. You can segue it to “I’ll have to be the judge of it soon enough”
- Sexual innuendos/flirting – You can also show intent indirectly through having a fun, sexual, flirty, vibe. Here is a good example
5. Escalate the conversation gradually.
The above 4 paths for showing intent are what we’ve found to be the best forms of building sexual tension over text. When you go too much too quickly, she may be put off by the aggression (depends on the type of girl you’ve matched with). So, with the submissive route, you can maybe start by talking about pulling hair, then moving up to choking, and maybe eventually talking about using toys. Sexting: One key component is knowing when to start sexting. Sexting is a great way to paint the picture and create the emotions of horniness that will get the girl invested more and more sexually. You have to learn how to make the judgement call about if you should sext a girl on Tinder (this requires some experience and practice). A risk of going overboard with sexting is that if you can’t meet her that night, her emotions will die down and it can become more difficult to get her to agree to a different day.
6. Close for the date properly.
This is where most guys tend to fuck up. They go too explicit with their meet up suggestion where the girl feels pressured and it gets too real when she hears something along the lines of “Why don’t you come over so we can fuck”. No matter how sexual the interaction has been, you always need to stick to proper closing. Start by getting her bought into the idea of a date with something like, “Do you like wine?” This sets up the kind of nonchalant close that she’s coming to your place, but she can at least feel comfortable with the plausible deniability that “sex may not happen, but most likely will.” You can follow our entire Tinder framework to see the most optimal way to close for the date.
7. Be prepared for the fuck date, and have the right mindsets.
She’s coming over to your place. Now what? Again, at this point, she knows that sex is on the table, if not very likely to happen. All you have to do is not screw up, and 9 times out of 10, you’re going to fuck this girl. But what are some things you could fuck up?
- Afraid to go for the kill. This is the most important one. She’s coming straight to your house. Accept that she is coming over to FUCK. Most guys don’t have the balls to ask her to come straight to their place, so she will expect you to have above average confidence. Don’t put pressure on yourself for any particular outcome, but also, be totally unafraid to make a move when the time is right.
- Bad hygiene. This should be obvious, but shower and brush your teeth before she gets there.
- A messy place. Your place doesn’t need to be spotless, but it also shouldn’t be gross. In particular, make sure your bathroom and bedroom is very clean.
- Being too aggressive. You can’t be too pushy or move too fast. Obviously, just because she came to your place, she still doesn’t owe you sex. I start my dates by pouring a glass of wine, talking casually to get to know each other, and dropping in some jokes in between. I keep it light hearted to let her become comfortable. As I do this, I read her vibe as to when she’s ready to start escalating.
- Escalating sub-optimally. Similar to the above, you can’t go from 0-100. The old mantra “two steps forward, one step back” is the best mentality. In other words, you might go from talking with strong eye contact, to pulling her in aggressively for a kiss – but then you should push her away and take a small step back. I normally use strong eye contact to start escalating, and as things start to get “hot and heavy”, I say “Let’s Go! I’ll give you a massage” and lead her to my room. Or, I might say “Let’s go listen to music,” take her to the bedroom, and play some EDM on Alexa. Basically, you want to let sex happen semi-naturally.
Examples Interactions Where Guys Got Laid on Tinder
A Sexually Explicit Interaction
- The opener (Point 3) was “Hey you seem like my type”. Of course the girl gets intrigued and wants to know what his type is.
- “Brunette, adventurous, submissive behind closed doors and with a bit of a wild side”. As you can see, he didn’t just say “You’re submissive”. That would have killed the interaction. He added generic qualifiers/categories which almost females would fall under (as indicated in Point 2)
- She bites onto it with “I do like my partners dominant”. He takes the cue to escalate with “Then you’ll have no problem letting grab a fistful of your hair and…”. She has concerns that her hair is too short, so he calibrates and goes the “Booty spanking” route as indicated in Point 4 & Point 5
- “What else would you like to do to me?”. A huge green light here. She’s begging to know how he would do things to her. If you take a step back here, you’d lose the interaction
- He goes into sexting here and turns her on. She is highly sold and even tells “How would you show me?”. Guys can fuck up here by saying “Come over. I’ll show you”. Remember! It needs to be gradual
- He does a soft close bait with a “Feeling spontaneous?”. She asks a “What are you thinking?”. He keeps it low key as indicated in Point 6 with “Splitting a bottle of wine with kinky sex & cuddles”. He’d have lost the interaction if he went too crass like “We can fuck after you come over”
- As you can see, it’s just logistics here on out and then end up meeting with “bang”
A More Subtle Interaction
- This one is as simple and subtle as it seems. Same approach with the opener as you can see in Point 3 with the “Can I be honest” and “You look like my type”.
- She wants to know what type is that. The only thing he needed here was “___, with a wild side” (Point 4). She bites onto it.
- Without any time to waste, he baits her with the “Looking nice & fit for our romantic date”. She inquires about this date, and he uses this to escalate very subtly with “You, me, maybe wine, maybe not, blankets, cuddles, relaxing while watching a movie”.
- The way this soft close was made does all the work by solidifying Point 4 & Point 6.
- They move over to text for logistics after she agrees to the date close. She has a tiny bit of catfish concern. He knew not to be fancy and simply sent a selfie holding a chocolate milkshake jar.
- They meet up for a nice little cuddle session and things “happen”
The Hinge Interaction
- Wanted to show this one specifically since it’s Hinge, not Tinder. We all know Hinge is not considered a hookup app. But, a huge BUT… totally depends on the girl and the timing of it all.
- The approach needs to be even more watered down on Hinge. You wouldn’t want to get too aggressive too quick and get banned from Hinge forever.
- This starts off with casual platonic talk about work and various smells. The switch truly happens when he asks her “All work no play?” and she asks him back “Haha. What kinda games”. This is how subtle women can be. They don’t aggressively let you know that they’re ready to be escalated on.
- She gives him permission to escalate but gives her 4 options of “Monopoly, poker, chess and various kinky activities”. The girl bites onto the 4th one. He uses this as a way of soft closing. Great example of Point 4 and Point 5 including the handcuffs in the text so she knows it’s the right balance of hardcore and soft
- She is intrigued by it more. And then he number closes. When she asks “Where are we going exactly?” over text, he is unfazed and tells her they’ll chill next to the fireplace (Point 6). If at this point, she’d have given an objection, he’d have calibrated and dealt with it then.
- She agrees and comes over and as expected, lots of kinky activities happen!
Start Getting Laid More Often
One of our strong beliefs at PWF is that we want men to get success in the most efficient way possible. We don’t believe in wasting time or spending money unnecessarily. And of course, the bar for success in an online dating interaction is obviously to get laid. Our “fuck date” method has been tested by hundreds of guys with women all over the world. If you’re looking to get laid efficiently, then this is without a doubt the best way to go. By following these 7 steps, and carefully studying these real interactions from our Mastermind members, you should be in a position to get laid from Tinder MUCH more often. We look forward to hearing your results in the comments or on the PWF Forums. Warmest Regards, Indian PE.