Chapter 9 – Dates
- Have Condoms Available – This should be common sense, but you would be surprised how many guys forget this extremely crucial detail. Don’t just have one either, make sure you always have a few. You might want to fuck her more than once & nothing will kill that faster than telling her you have to run to the store. I personally order condoms on Amazon, it is the best deal I found (36 for $13, Link here). Also, have these condoms easily available. Having to dig through your drawers will also ruin the moment. I personally always have at least one condom in my wallet & a bunch easily accessible on a shelf by the bed.
- Have Alcohol Available – This is one a lot of guys forget and it winds up fucking them over. You want to have a variety of alcohol available in case the girl is feeling nervous and needs a drink (large percentage of women). Even, if you don’t drink you should still stock up. There will be women who you meet, who are going to need that drink or two for this to feel “socially acceptable” for them. By not, having that available you will make things a lot harder for yourself and possibly risk having them be “too nervous” and leave. My recommendation is to have a bottle of red & white wine (most girls love wine), a bottle of vodka, and a bottle of whiskey. I also usually, have a bottle of tequila handy as well, since it’s my drink of choice.
- Clean – Nothing will turn a girl off faster than a filthy place. That means you should spend just a bit tidying up. There’s no need to go crazy here & spend hours cleaning. Just make sure it doesn’t look like a mess. Get rid of any food lying around. Put away used & smelly clothes. Throw out any old condoms. Just do the common sense things
- Get Massage Oil – I always make sure to have massage oil handy, nothing crazy just the $10 bottles they sell at whole foods. First off if I am sore or just in the mood, I will usually get the girl to give me a massage after sex, especially if she’s a regular. I love getting massages, but hate having to pay for them. Tinder bridges that gap. More importantly, massage oil is great for getting past LMR or even helping a dtf girl get more relaxed to make the sex better. This will be covered more below
- Have a Music PlayList Ready – I always have music in the background when I have girls over. My playlist of choice is to type “Krono Dancin” into YouTube and have Auto Suggest on. It is chill edm music that pretty much every girl will be cool with
Bonus: Get Sex Toys – This one is not a requirement, but I strongly recommend it. I will typically have my Hitachi Magic Wand Vibrator (link here) just laying around on the night stand as well as handcuffs & a small innocent looking leather whip (Link to kit here) That’s right, I just leave it out. Most of the time girls see it and don’t say anything. However, when they do it makes escalation quite easy. Also, a vibrator is a great way to ensure that every girl who comes over winds up having numerous orgasms, thus increasing your retention rate.[/text_block]
The most important thing is to understand the girl is at your place, because she wants to fuck. However, It’s up to you to make that happen, that means you are going to have to make her feel comfortable, escalate, and help her get over her objections if necessary. I will typically shower right before a girl comes over and put on a comfortable, but clean outfit. Like a dirty room, body order will usually quickly kill a girl’s attraction. Then, when she gets there, I will go downstairs and meet her in the lobby of my building. I will give her a confident hug and make a little small talk, while leading her inside. Once inside, I will usually ask her to take off her shoes (this is completely not necessary, but I like to do it as it sets the frame of “I am in charge here”)
After that, I will almost always ask her if she wants a drink. If she says no (unless its prefaced with an ex-alcoholic story), It most likely means she is ready to get down to business. The main indicator is going to be how relaxed she looks, if she looks relaxed and turned on you can escalate straight away. No need to beat around the bush. However, most girls will say take you up on your offer to have a drink. I will pour them a drink of their choice, as well as myself.
Note: If you are one of those people who doesn’t like to drink, don’t worry I’m with you. I don’t really like to drink either. However, I realize that most people do and accept that reality. I will typically pour a drink for myself and the girl. Then very slowly sip on mine. The vast majority of time, I will wind up having less than one drink worth of alcohol, while the girl has a few.
Next, I will typically lead a girl to either my bedroom or the living room couch, depending on how the place is set up. I used to fuss over this, but realized it’s almost entirely irrelevant. The only thing that matters is that you are sitting on the same plane (bed or couch). A big indicator will also be, how close the girl sits to you, if she sits close then she likely feels comfortable. During this time, I am usually making jokes and flirting with her. I am super relaxed and just having fun.
A great way to build comfort is to ask the girl what music she likes and put on something she enjoys. This is great, because she associates that music with positive emotions, one of which is being comfortable. Thus, by playing that song, you instantly bring back all those feelings. If she needs more comfort, I will shoot the shit with her about random things. I will ask her about her other tinder experiences (my favorite topic), what kind of guys she usually goes for, where she grew up, etc. [/text_block]
- Strong Eye Contact – Keep in mind escalation begins before you even touch her. It’s in the things that you do from the moment you meet. The main thing I always try to do is to maintain very strong eye contact. A lot of girls , even get a little nervous because of it, at which point I will make a joke or tell them a story about how I used to do sales and had to learn this skill. I will also, almost always comment on a girls eye contact. If it is strong, I will compliment her for it and point out that not many girls can look me in the eye. If it is weak, I will tease her for it. This is a great way to show off your dominant side and works quite well
- Genuine Compliments – Some guys think its Choady to say anything positive to a girl about her body or personality. That couldn’t be further from the truth. It is choady to give fake compliments and girls can smell those a mile away. However, there should be a few things that you find genuinely attractive about the girl. I typically keep my compliments quite sexual since it personally takes me a while to appreciate any person’s personality. I love tattoos, nerdy glasses, chokers, certain outfits. If a girl has one of those, I will always point out that I like it. If a girl has a nice ass, I will almost always compliment her on it as well. Genuine compliments are a great way to set or progress a sexual frame.
- Touching – Before going for the make out, I will always be touching the girl a good amount. I start off by just touching her leg for a few seconds and seeing if she tenses up or not. If she doesn’t, I will put my hand on her knee. If she doesn’t tense, I will rub her thigh. Sometimes, while she is talking, I will out of nowhere, brush my hand past her hair, gently moving it out of the way. This is all done, while I maintain strong eye contact and carry on a conversation. The girls logical mind is distracted with the conversation, while her emotional side is getting turned on, quite effective
- Make out/Sweet Spot – This is usually how shit starts to go down. I go in for the kiss and start making out with her. During this time my hands are exploring her body. I am running them down her back. Grabbing her ass. Brushing past her hair, etc. Eventually, I make my way down and kiss their neck. This is when I usually look for their “sweet spot”. Most girls have one, it will either be their neck or their ear, or their collar bone, basically a spot that when you kiss they get extra horny.
- Home Base – At this point, the girls breathing is usually a lot heavier and she should be starting to get quite turned on. I typically pull down her shirt and start sucking on her tits. As she starts getting even hornier, I take my hand and start rubbing her clit. She should be pretty wet by now. Then I will take my cock out and put her hand on it. Once the girls hand is on your naked dick, sex is quite certain. Have fun with it. Quite often, I will go down on the girl and bring her to orgasm first. Then I will rub my dick on her pussy and make her ask me for it, before putting a condom on and fucking her
- Preempt – Nowadays, I will significantly reduce the chance of LMR by actively pre-empting it before it happens. If I suspect, the girl isn’t super dtf and think she might give me LMR, I will almost always offer a drink and give her a chance to actually have one or two. A lot of women feel they need plausible deniability before they can commit to having sex and “we were just having some drinks and it happened”, is one of the oldest excuses in the book. I will allow her to get comfortable and feel at ease. Having some good music playing and a comfortable clean environment will also help. Most importantly though, I build up sexual tension. I rub her leg, I tease her. I compliment her. I talk about sex and bdsm (if she is receptive). I ask her to tell me some stories. I build it up and make her crave my dick so that by the time I go in for the kiss, she wants it more then I do.
- Two steps Forward, One Step Back– This is when you are escalating and a girl stops you and you take a little bit of step back so she can feel more at ease, wait a few minutes and start escalating again. The idea is that every time you have to stop you are a bit further. I use this strategy quite often when I get LMR. A girl stops me when I go to touch her vagina. No problem I move my hands back to her upper body, wait a few minutes and then go in for it again. Maybe the second time she will let me rub it a little bit, before stopping me. No problem, the second time though I will only move my hand to her thigh, before going for it again. You get the picture. This is effective, because you are not constantly pushing forward, which will cause the girl to tense up, also, taking that one step back, builds more anticipation for the girl, thus getting her hornier.
- Going Caveman – My usual Go-To. This is when you just get the girl so physically turned on that her logical mind shuts off and she goes with her urges. To do this of course, you need to understand how to best turn a woman on. Reading some of the previously mentioned books in this product will help, but ultimately experience will be what gets you really good at getting girls horny. I lost my virginity when I was 19 and I was horrible with women. I had no idea what went where. Now, I am 27 and can say that I know my way around a woman’s body probably better than she does. This is only because, I had so many different experiences, learning a thing here and a thing there.
- Logically Disarm – This one is a little bit more advanced as it requires a strong frame. Nowadays, when I get a lot of LMR, i’ll almost always logically dig for the objection. Is she worried about me fucking her and not seeing her again? If that is the case, I’ll explain how I am not a guy does that (I’m really not) and how her best chance of seeing me again is actually to have sex with me, because I don’t like it when a girl makes a big deal out of sex. Is she worried about seeming like a slut? If that is the case, ill explain how it’s unfortunate that a lot of men shame women for expressing their sexuality. Ill explain that I am not one of those guys and knows and appreciates the fact that women love sex also. Sometimes, the objection could be as simple as the girl being on her period and too embarrassed to tell you. If that is the case, I will explain how I know that women get really horny on their periods, but fortunately for her period sex doesn’t bother me at all
- Take an actual step back – Sometimes, the best course of action is to actually take a step back and build more comfort. If I am taking a step back, I will usually bring alcohol in and have a few shots with her. My goal of course isn’t to get her wasted and do something she regrets, but to get her to feel more comfortable & relaxed and alcohol is great for that
- Massage Technique – This is a surprisingly effective way to defuse or completely circumvent LMR altogether. What you do is ask the girl if she gives good massages, she will almost always end her answer with a “what about you”. At this point, I will tell her I am actually a great masseuse because I used to have a Thai girlfriend who taught me how to give great massages (white lie). Then, I will offer to give her one. As long as the girl feels comfortable in your place and with you, she will usually say yes. I will tell her to lie on her stomach, as I sit on her back. Then I will nonchalantly take out the massage oil that is sitting right on my bed and pour a little bit on her back (acting as if that was obviously part of the plan). Sometimes, a girl will be slightly surprised, but more commonly she will laugh. Then I start rubbing the oil on her back for about a minute, before commenting that her shirt is in the way, as I move it up/down her back. Once I have access to her naked back, I will massage her for at least a few minutes, usually putting on more oil in the process. I will start with just the back, but slowly make my way to her side, to her neck, to her lower back. Taking two steps forward and one step with my hands. After, I can tell the girl is starting to get really into the massage, I will start to escalate, either by giving her a slap on the ass or a kiss on the back of her neck. Then, I will gage her reaction. If she seems comfortable with it and looks like she is getting turned on, I will slap her ass & kiss their neck some more. If she looks a little tense, I will maybe make a little small talk and compliment her body, while massaging her back. Eventually, I will start kissing & sucking on her neck, while rubbing my cock on their ass. I will put more oil on my hands and start rubbing first the side of her breasts, then her nipples (this usually gets girls super horny). Then for the finale, I will pull her shorts/pants down or to the side and start rubbing her clit. Once, I am fingering her it is an easy transition to oral. Then while, going down on her , I will pull a condom out of my wallet, put it on and slide my dick in.
- Whipping your dick out – I first heard about this four years ago and thought it was crazy. I couldn’t fathom doing this without having the girl freak out and call me a pervert. However, I was wrong. At the time, I was having the typical intermediate dilemma of pulling a lot of girls to my place, but getting stuck at second or third base and only banging a small percentage. I was desperate to break this cycle and decided to give this a shot. The next day, I pulled a Japanese girl from day game. We are in my room, making out, but when I try to go further she stops me. This happens a few times. Ok, I decide here goes nothing. I whip my dick out and start beating off. I was super anxious and expected the worst. However, the girl didn’t freak out, she didn’t call me a pervert. Instead, I saw her eyes light up as she got massively attracted.
Ever since then, I have used this technique with over 50 girls and never once had a freak out. There are a few things to keep in mind. First off and most importantly, the girl has to feel comfortable with you first. That means, this is never my first go to, but my last resort. Secondly, it works a lot better if you are stuck on second or third base. This means, it is more effective if you are already making out with the girl, maybe have her tits out, but she stops you every time you try to finger her…rather than if you can’t get the kiss in the first place. Also, it is essential to keep a strong frame. A girl might ask, “did you really take your dick out”. You want to completely own it and even flip it around in a playful way “Yes, but it’s your fault, your big booty just got me too excited”.
NOTE: Keep in mind, none of this is license to do anything that will actually force the girl or make her do anything she really doesn’t want to do. That is morally and criminally wrong. I’ve been gaming for a few years and can tell with a very high degree of certainty if a girl is really not interested or just giving me Lmr. That’s why I can push it quite far, but never once had a freak out or any girl getting pissed at me the next day. If you are not good at reading body language, then don’t push it as far. A good idea might be to throw things in like “if you feel uncomfortable, I want you to know you can leave at any time” or other easy outs for the girl. Also, probably most importantly don’t be drunk when doing this, it will cause you to ignore signs and potentially do something bad.[/text_block]
Secondly, DO NOT do dinner dates. In fact, just stick to coffee/tea, drinks, or walks. That’s it. No weird or fancy shit. I have hooked up with numerous girls on tinder who were quite feisty and would tell me stories about all the guys they went out with before me who did not get laid. Aside from those guys, all being beta choads, a common theme was that those guys would try to “romance” the girls into sex, by doing shit you would see in a Meg Ryan movie. Unfortunately, for them, that’s not how it works. They would spend money & their whole night and wind up with a kiss on the cheek. Meanwhile, I would invite them over “wine on the patio” or “quick drink at bar down the street” and be banging them thirty minutes later.[/text_block]
- Look your best, but casual – I usually show up to these dates freshly showered, with a nice shave, form-fitting & clean clothes. However, I don’t dress up. Instead, I actually dress down a little bit. A decent pair of shorts and a long sleeve shirt is my go to
- Be confident & lead from the start– This is probably the most important one. The girl met up with you because she is hoping you are a dominant sexual man who can make her feel comfortable, turn her on, and fuck her. It is your game to lose. When, I meet the girl I will give her long confident hug. Then, if it is inside the bar already, I will pull up a chair for her. If it is outside, then I will lead her inside. This of course doesn’t mean try to be like one of those weird guys in the movies who tries to order for the girl. That is overcompensation and is actually the opposite of truly being confident.
- Banter/Flirting – Keep the conversation, fun and flirty. I will usually ask a lot of genuine questions about things that interest me about her, like past tinder experiences. People love talking about themselves and the best way to get her to open up and feel comfortable, is to just let her talk. That isn’t to say you should be passive. I will often playfully interrupt her with jokes and comments. If I feel the conversation is going in the wrong direction, I will steer it back on track. I will also always tell interesting/funny stories of my own. The big thing to keep in mind with that is relevance. I am always gage her reaction and seeing how she reacts
- Physical Contact – The same principle as when she is back at your place, touching her will set a sexual frame and get her turned on, before you even go in for the kiss. I always touch the girls I go out with. At first, I might put my hand on her knee/arm for a few seconds and gage her reaction. If she seems comfortable, I will do it for a longer period of time If she’s not I might take a step back and then try again a few minutes later. If a lot of your dates are fizzling out with a semi-awkward hug at the end, then I can almost always bet that you are not touching the girl enough.
- Eye contact – Also, the same principle as when she is back at your place. Strong eye contact, will heavily increase the sexual frame, build a connection, and turn a woman on immensely. If she has good eye contact, I will compliment her on it and tell her not many women do (its true). If she has weak eye contact, I will tease her for it.
- Make out – If you are doing the previous two points correctly, then you should have no problem getting the make-out most of the time after 20-40 minutes. There is big difference, between how I make out in public and in private. In private, I will make out passionately and continue all the way to sex. However, in public I will hold back on purpose. I will kiss her for a bit and then pull back myself. I can’t physically bang her at a bar, so my goal is still to get her back to my place. My best chance of doing that is to leave plenty of sexual tension. I find that making out for too long, will kill that and thus reduce your chance of actually getting laid. Another important thing to keep in mind, is that there are a good amount of girls out there (usually career women) who are super dtf, but won’t make out with you in public. Don’t be dissuaded by this.
- Pulling – There is no hard time for how fast you should pull. You have to develop social intuition and be able to judge each situation correctly. However, I would say the time frame is twenty minutes to two hours. Any shorter, than twenty minutes and chances are you haven’t built enough comfort yet (although, I have had many exceptions) and anything over two hours and chances are you are beating around the bush too much and she will get tired or bored and decide to go home. There are two ways you can use to pull. The simplest, is to just invite her over for “drinks on the patio”. I will typically do this after I make out with the girl, when her buying temperature is high. The big thing is to just make the whole thing seem as nonchalant & chill as possible. Its also a good idea to try to pre-seed the pull, by talking about either some pictures you want to show her or some music or anything of that sort. The second way, which is my usual go-to is to just straight up nonchalantly start leading her to my place. If a girl asks me where we are going, I will say “adventure” or “somewhere romantic”. However, it’s important to keep in mind that this will work only if you have a strong frame, are confident, and have been leading from the start.
- Distract their logical mind – When I am leading them nonchalantly to my place, I am always making sure to keep the conversation going. This prevents them from getting nervous and changing their mind. It also minimizes possible concerns/objections
- Concern Handling – A girl might have a lot of the same, talked about in the texting section. The most common thing you will hear is some variation of “ok, but I am not having sex with you”. This should be music to your ears. It almost always, means I am going to have sex with you as long as you don’t make me feel like a slut for it. The right way to handle that is to say some variation of “no worries, that’s cool” or to make a joke about it. Other common ones, are “I don’t know, we just met”, “how do I know you are not a killer”, etc…The best way to handle that is to make the invite seem as chill as possible and add a little humor in. “Ya same here. We are just going to have a drink or two on my patio and listen to music. Don’t worry, I am saving myself for jesus”.
Who Pays? This is a common question and there is no one-size fits all answer as it depends on a few factors. The most important is where you are. In eastern Europe and Colombia, I would always just pay. The culture there is very clear on that and because everything is so cheap, I didn’t want to potentially lose a lay over $2. On the other hand, in Finland everything was split 50/50, because that is just the culture. My biggest piece of advice, is to keep public dates cheap in the first place. If she is meeting you for coffee/tea then it is only going to be $2 or $3, not a big deal might. If it is drinks pick a bar, which is not expensive, then run good game and pull after the first drink. Even if you do pay, it’s going to be $10. In America, I can usually get away with splitting the bill because I built a lot of attraction and hold a strong frame. I actually had girls tell me after sex, that they usually don’t go home with guys who make them pay for their own drinks. However, if you keep the date cheap, it shouldn’t be a big deal either way
Final Note: I said this throughout the chapter, if you got a girl from Tinder on a “Date”, it is your game to lose. This is especially true if you have a sexual bio, screened, and/or have her meet you straight at your place. She wants a dominant, confident man to make her laugh, feel comfortable, tease her…and ultimately turn her on and fuck the shit out of here. That is your job. [/text_block]