How to get out of the Friendzone – My 6 Month Experiment

 

This article will be about the time I decided to get myself friendzoned by a twenty-something year old attractive girl named Belle for the sake of learning and to teach men how to get out of the friendzone. How I got in the zone and how I successfully got out of it. I will also include text screenshots that will display and represent different stages throughout the 6 months of being in and out of the friendzone.

A lot of people may ask why the fuck would I spend 6 months on this? What’s the point? I think it is important to first understand where I was at this point in my life. I didn’t know pickup or any communities based around game existed until around January 2017. I started my own group around March 2017. The plan was to share my experiences, help men out with women and write about my experiments. I didn’t have a mentor. Nor did I watch or read anything game related. So I had to learn on my own. I learned through experience and experiments like this one (though typically on a smaller scale).

I worked for a German management consulting company for years where I spent up to 12 hours in an office, alone for the most part. When I moved back to the USA, I kept my job and it was now all done at home and online. Over the years I set goals to face a lot of my personal issues/fears and obstacles that were holding me back like depression, awful social anxiety (growing up I would get dry mouth to the point that I was unable to speak to women), issues with women and relationships, etc. I tried anything and everything. I experimented a lot.

I decided to get a second job at a very busy, upscale grocery store. I didn’t need the job. It was during a time where I was working on overcoming social anxiety (I had made great improvements over the years) and creating very strict daily routines and sticking to them (something my other job didn’t force me to do). I was also learning about women and dating. I thought this job would be perfect. I would be a cashier in a very busy store working 8-9 hours a day, 5-6 days a week. It would force me to interact with a lot of people on a daily basis. It would help me overcome a lot of my social anxiety and fears. It would teach me how to be more composed. How to communicate and reason better.

I quickly became comfortable in high pressure social settings. It was a new me. It opened the gates to what would be my biggest learning growth period when it came to women and people in general. This store that I worked at has a cult-like following. And it was the only one in the city. It was full of people from all types of backgrounds. Celebrities, business owners, athletes, middle class, hippies, college kids, etc. It was a steady stream of what I decided one day were going to be my test subjects. They had to go through my line. They had to stand in front of me. And a lot of people came in everyday. So I could develop relationships with a lot of people. And it may sound a bit sociopathic, but I could experiment and use them as my lab rats. I knew what days they would come in and what time.

I would do things like wear certain outfits on certain days. So Sunday I would dress very nicely. My Armani watch, button up shirt, my hair nicely combed. Thursday I would wear red flannel with a black cap like a lumberjack. Friday’s I would wear my hip, torn black hoodie and cap with Jordans. And so on.

I was treated differently depending on the clothes I wore. And I attracted very different types of women. I would also change my persona according to the outfit. So after a year of this, I knew what outfits to wear to attract the type of women that I was in the mood for or was called for in whatever particular setting. This also taught me a shit ton about calibration with women. It was also amazing what I got away with doing and saying with customers. My coworkers and even bosses were shocked. This is the same effect I have nowadays with women as well. But that’s for another article.

I spent my days introducing new stimuli to my lab rats and observing. Learning. I had a lot of tests and little experiments.

One early morning I clocked in to my shift and headed to my register. There was a new hire. A short, petite and sexy twenty-something year old girl named Belle. I pounced QUICK. I came over to spit some game.

Our brief interactions that morning were interesting. She was very good at testing me and holding her frame. This wasn’t anything I couldn’t overcome or pass. But I kept thinking about all the female customers that would come through my line with their friendzoned boys. And how pathetic it looked. I even had conversations with these guys and girls individually about their dynamic. I found it very interesting.

I thought maybe it would be interesting to fail my new coworker’s tests and fall into her frame

I wanted to see where it took me. For the next few days that’s exactly what I did. It did not take long before she started heavily pushing me toward the friendzone frame. It was creepily seemingly instinctive for her. However it wasn’t enough to be promoted (or demoted) to just Belle’s full-time friendzone bitch. I had to do more.

I started doing small tasks for her (tasks a lot of guys would rationalize as being “nice” and “polite”) to taking on some of her work, picking up shifts, buying her snacks during our breaks and occasionally fiercely defending her when she would get rude customers or yelled at by our manager.

One day she was complaining about her car problems. Her window or mirror needed fixed. I volunteered and we exchanged phone numbers.

At this point I was successfully Friendzoned

But I wasn’t in deep or long enough. I wanted this experiment to be as accurate as possible.

The first couple months I would bring her food to work during my day off. I would drive to work on my off day just to drop off food. I would get the “aww you’re an amazing friend” lines. This was so hard to fucking endure. We would text about her guy problems. I even winged her at bars to pick up other guys. I drove to her place to fix her car. Or bring her snacks to her house. For several visits I wasn’t allowed to come inside. We would sit in my car and talk like 2 girls. You can see a lot of these references in the text message screenshots.

You will also see how Belle reacts to me sexualizing conversations. Even if it was an innuendo or not directed at her. She would immediately shove me quickly back in the zone. The amount of times I got the “ewww” or “we’re just friends stop it” or “gross” responses was painful.

If you’ve seen my love reports and texts from women, I never ever get anything remotely close to this. A couple months in we would have sleepovers. Very platonic. We’d watch movies and sleep in the same bed. This was the real test for me. All I wanted to do was rip her clothes off and bend her over my desk. But it would have been a total failure. I was deep in the friendzone. The reaction I would’ve gotten for making any kind of high risk moves like that would be big and irreversible. I rarely could sexualize interactions over text without getting “you’re gross” reactions.

Stage 2 – I was officially a Giant Pussy!

A non-sexual threat. I was in no way a sexual option. I was at the point where we spent a lot of time together. And we texted each other daily.

Stage 2 was about slowly distancing myself from her. I felt that it was best to gradually and smoothly transition through the different phases all the way to my end goal. Any drastic and dramatic move or event could ruin everything. A friend of a friend was super close to my ex’s best friend. He was always with her. They couldn’t be seperated. He was beyond in the friendzone. But after 5 years he decided to make a couple bold moves and it was a dramatic event. She cut that friendship off with little hesitation. Even after 5 years of being very close. This guy offering so much to her. Once she realized that it was time to pay back, it was over with.

I started off doing fewer tasks for her. I cut off bringing her lunch. I texted her less often. I would flake once or twice. It was just enough for her to notice but not enough to blow it up. I recall her calling me one night and ignoring it. She would call me a few times a week to talk about her guy trouble. She was not pleased with me not picking up her call. She tried guilt tripping me by telling me about how this or that guy was a jerk to her. She shamed me for not doing my white knight duties as usual. I noticed a change in her behavior. She was worried. She felt all the free value slipping away. She saw her therapist / emotions-bitch slowly distancing himself. This is where I wanted her. I wanted her a bit worried. I wanted her to put forth a bit more effort so I can move into the next stage.

Stage 3 – I had to become a sexual option!

This was the most fun part of the experiment. This stage was the most crucial part to get out of the friendzone. I had to become more attractive. I had to become a sexual option. This was the toughest part to figure how to do if it was even possible. It was obvious she didn’t have much sexual attraction toward me from day 1 and bitching myself up over a couple months didn’t help. How the hell do I go from this to having sex with her?

The best shot was massive DHVing (demonstration of high value). I’ve already drastically cut down the behavior of the nice guy that got me into the friendzone. If I consistently and gradually DHV myself over time, she may second guess who I really am or the dynamic of our relationship. Maybe she will question what the real frame was set and perhaps it was set by me all along.

I started small. I’d text other girls in front of her. Then I’d casually start showing her texts from other women. Women praising me for my oral skills. Women thanking me for last night or begging to meet up again. I received some minor reactions. A bit of curiosity. I hadn’t really talked about other women in this way. I also started showing hot photos that also girls sent me.

At work or when we’d go places I would flirt with other girls. I wanted to display that I had some game with women and that these women were actually rather receptive. Now this can backfire if you approach women that aren’t receptive to you. Or straight up reject you. So be careful.

I started talking to a different ex-coworker from a couple years ago named Kay. I learned that Kay had a big crush on me for a while but I was in a relationship for most of the time. As I became closer with Kay I would often pin the two girls against each other. I’d send them text screenshots from each other in order to make them a bit jealous and compete for my time and attention.

You will see this in a few screenshots. Kay invited me to stay at her place for the week. She moved a couple hours away. Belle demanded that I don’t go. She claimed that she was crazy. So I went in defiance. And ghosted her during that time while snapping photos of me and Kay together on Snapchat for her to see.

After this week trip with Kay, Belle called me more. She grew more annoyed when I would not pick up the phone or took longer to reply to her messages.

I slowly began Re-framing

I treated Belle more like a good buddy while becoming more sexual with other women. I told her stories about women that I’ve slept with over the weekend. Sometimes I’d describe the girl’s looks with the exact same traits as Belle, but I’d rave about how hot she was. How sexually open minded and fun she was. That I loved how these women were not only sexually free, but they expressed what they wanted from me. And that I liked women that were more sexually aggressive toward me.

She would be visibly upset when talking up these women. I gave her an 8.5 rating previously and I would always give women that I’ve slept with a higher rating. Even so slightly as 0.2 (8.7) just to really trigger her. I think this was the start of her questioning the entire dynamic. The entire frame. Almost like a “fuck, did I see this all wrong?” — She’d proclaim that she was at least a 9 and was surely hotter or in some way better than all these girls (there’s no way I could possibly be with more attractive women than her in her mind).

So with this seed planted in her mind. I knew exactly what I needed to do next to take this to the next level. Kay, the ex-coworker I visited for a week, had told me that she had little interest in me until she started seeing me with my girlfriend at the time. She was a tall, hot 19 year old blonde. Model-like. Perfect ass and walked with such sexual confidence. She exuded hotness and would intimidate other women with it. She told me if I can get a girl like that, I must have something all women want. I have to be really satisfying her. In the couple years we worked together, I never spoke to her. I never interacted with her. She would stalk my social media for a year. She would fantasize about fucking me. All because of pre-selection of my high value ex-girlfriend.

My ex would be the perfect girl to introduce into this experiment. The problem is that we had been broken up for months. And she had a new boyfriend. I thought about just using other women, but I wanted to use an ex. She was my only ex left in this city. And I have photos of us to back it up. A lot of nudes. So I got back into contact with her. I got a meet up that was non-sexual in nature and gamed her.

I started banging her consistently over a week or so. One night while she was sleeping over we went to my work to buy some stuff. I made sure that Belle was working during this time. We got some stuff and went to her line. She was confused. My talkative BFF was rather silent.

My ex always loved to intimidate other hot girls. She’s a submissive girl with men, but rather dominant when she gamed women. Belle was thrown off big time.

The next day at work she subtly eased into the topic of who I was with last night. She asked if that was my sister. I told her it was my ex and that we are banging again. She didn’t believe. So of course I showed her pics of us together. Even a lingerie photo or two. The entire day she was pretty silent. This was unlike her. She was confused and her mind was trying to make sense of it all.

This is what I wanted. Her to question who really set the friendzone frame. What was our dynamic in reality.

I noticed she began testing me. Baiting me. We had casual sleepovers. We’d watch Netflix, talk and just go to sleep. Totally non-sexual. But one night she wondered if she had nice tits. She thought her tits were too big for her small body. She takes off her shirt exposing her tits and asks me what I think. This is the first time I’ve seen her naked and the first time she’s gone sexual with in any way. But I knew this wasn’t genuine. It was a clear test. It was bait to see if her questions about the dynamic were wrong. Or maybe she was wondering after seeing my ex, that she wasn’t hot enough. Over text she said something briefly about her not being my type. I didn’t take the bait.

Stage 4 – Fuck it. Just suck my dick!

About 4 or 5 months in I really changed my behavior. I behaved more like myself. I stopped the nice guy act. I stopped taking her usual calls where she’d ran on about her guy problems and I would straight up tell her I am too busy. Or that I have a girl in bed. You can see in the screenshots where she claims that I am being “moody” and “short”.

Around this time I noticed she was really seeking validation. She was competing and comparing herself to my other women. In one exchange after rating a girl I had just banged higher than her, she randomly tells me she could use an ass massage. She also told me she was going to rip my dick off next time she saw me, I misinterpreted it on purpose asking if she was going to ride my dick and her response was “possibly”.

Typically (as you can see from earlier messages) she rejected even the slightest sexual innuendos. We’re full on sexual topics. Her attitude has totally changed. She is now chasing. She is now digging hard on ways to seduce. On ways to win me over and to fuck me. Pretty openly telling me it’s her mission.

Only days after this shift of having openly sexual topics, that also included us together, she randomly out of nowhere sends me a nude. It’s her on the floor with her legs spread. No panties on. “Is this a good nude?” she asks. I don’t want to discourage this act. So I reward her with some compliments. I am still not sure whether or not to go for it because I feel like it this may be bait to get that validation she craved from me.

But there was sequence of her pretty much gaming me. She disqualifies me. She baits me. She’s doing everything to draw me in. I test the waters a bit with two lines “True. I can’t deny it anymore” when she called me out for wanting to fuck her and “Oh yeah baby let me in”. This was obviously me being playful, but she jumped on it “Are you joking with me?”.

At this point I was pretty sure it was safe to make my move. I was afraid that If I made her chase any harder that it would blow up. Knowing her, her ego would have stopped her from continuing. I sent her a very blunt “Nah baby let me stick my cock in you”, she replies “hahahaha what”. I follow up with “Fuck it. Just suck my dick”. And that line did it. She replies “There it is! Possibly after that!”. I tell her I want her lips around my dick and she demands that I be mean to her. It was brief and we wish each other good night.

I didn’t want to push it too far or risk fucking up since we had plans to meet the next night. She calls me the next night that she is on her way. There’s no better time to try to fuck her than this night. I already know what she likes. She comes over, I take her to my room. The second I shut the door I grab her by the throat and push her against the wall. She looks up at me with a grin. I tell her to bend over my desk. She responds “yes daddy”. I bend her over and fuck her. We fucked all night.

It was such a relief for me. I had so much frustration built up. But this would be the last time I had sex with her. We communicated for some days via Instagram (I don’t have access to these messages anymore!) and Facetime. She wanted a relationship.

She kept asking if she was good enough

I could have kept this relationship as FWB but I wanted to see her hard and long she’d go to get me into a relationship. It didn’t last more than a few days. As I said earlier that I was afraid her ego would eventually stop her from chasing too hard. Too desperately. And in this case it did. She said she was going out of town and she blocked me. I haven’t spoken to her since then.

What to do if you’re already in the Friendzone?

I think this depends on a several factors.

How long you’ve been in the friendzone. How deep you’re in. Your sexual market value. The longer you’ve been in the zone, the longer you’ll need to get out of it.

If you’ve been zoned for 2 years, trying to spontaneously get out of it will not work. Making a sexual move, will not work. She will put you right back in your place like a good boy or she will cut you loose with very little hesitation. If you are no longer useful to her or if it comes with a lot of maintenance, you’ll be done and you will have lost your opportunity for good.

Think in gradual steps over time

First you must undo what you’ve done. So instead of taking action, you’re going to slowly take less action. You want to subtly get yourself back to a more normal, casual relationship. You want her to feel the gradual and inevitable loss. Not so much of you as a friend, but what you contribute to her life. Emotionally, financially, etc.

If she sees you slipping away she will put forth effort to reel you back in. This is where I want all women. If they are taking action and putting forth effort for me, I can always flip the frame to the point that she is now chasing. She never knew what hit her.

You may notice her calling you. Demanding you pick up her calls. Asking what’s wrong. Trying to manipulate you into getting back to where you were before. She may frame it as “I miss my friend!”. I’ve read other coaches telling people in this situation to give them an ultimatum. We’re going on a date or I am out.

If you’ve ever been in the friendzone, you know this doesn’t work. On one hand it is a good way of ending the suffering of being in the zone. But it doesn’t give you any chance with the girl that you’ve been chasing for months or years. If you’ve invested a lot of time and effort in the friendzone, you can spend as much time getting out of it.

If you text her everyday. Cut it down to 4 days

If you meet up with her a few times a week, cut it down to 1. Text her less. Be shorter in your messages. Once you’ve done this, it’s time for a vacation. Disappear for a week or 2. When you come back you will start the next stage. Begin displaying high value. Preselection. At some point you’ll want to treat her as if YOU friendzoned her. You can throw out lines like “you’re like my little sister! So cute!” with a condescending pat on the back. Don’t wait for her reaction. And don’t expect one. Over time these lines will have an effect on her subconsciously.

Don’t feel bad for being a bit savage

Some guy broke her heart? She got in a fight with her BFF or her mom. Even in more severe situations, it’s okay to ghost her! You’ve been her emotional bitch. Her therapist. You’ve been everything but a sexual option. She’s used you. You’ve been overly empathetic. You’ve been way too nice. Be a dick and don’t give a fuck about whatever she’s going through. She can go to her female friends for that.

I recall Belle calling me several times because she had a fight with her mother and some guy played her. She was crying. I rejected all her phone calls. She tried guilt tripping me. I sent her a photo of me picking up a pizza. I did not apologize. Now this doesn’t mean go out of your way and bitterly be mean to her. That will have a negative effect.

You should see changes in the dynamic

In her behavior. If you have shit social awareness, try to be more observant. You’ll have to gauge where you are at in the relationship. It may not be very obvious. You may have to test her a bit. If she used to shame you for telling sexual jokes about her, test it out now. Start pushing it more and more and see where the boundaries have moved.

At some point you have to make a move

I did it over text. And rather bluntly. I am more skilled in over sexualizing or fucking up and saving the interaction than most guys. I suggest asking her out. Don’t label it a date. But invite her for dinner. Some wine. Netflix. It has to be an obvious date and something out of the norm for you two. Sexually escalate then and good luck. If she rejects you, you’ll have to punish it. Disappear for a week. Give her less attention. Less validation. Then come back and try again.

Another option is to stay in the friendzone. Use her as social proof.

How to avoid the friendzone!

Avoiding the friendzone is actually the easy part. Don’t be her fucking platonic friend. Unless she’s your friend and you’re fucking her.

Just…don’t be her friend!

When it comes to women I want to fuck or have a relationship with, I am sexual from the start. You should sexualize the interaction early and often as possible. Be sexual in general whether it’s aimed toward her or not. You are a sexual being. You are a sexual threat.

To some degree you should let your intent be known early on. It’s impossible to be friendzoned. You give her two options. We’re fucking/dating or we don’t co-exist. She can leave and that’ll solve that. Or she sticks around. Which means she’s down or open to the possibility of a sexual relationship.

Take Risks

And be willing to lose every girl. Otherwise you risk becoming too nice. Too desperate. Too needy. And you may not be seen as a sexual option in her eyes. There are no magical lines or tips to avoid the friendzone that so many guys are in. Some men lack the confidence to express what they want from women so they think weaseling their way in as a friend will give them some hope. As if the woman will one day fall in love after years of platonic friendship, gifts, “kind” gestures and so on. Don’t. Be a man and show your intent. Take risks. Be willing to lose them. You may be surprised by the immediate success.

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10 Comments

  1. Anonymous on March 13, 2019 at 10:58 PM

    Damn this was a rollercoaster… Almost makes me wanna get friendzoned and try this out myself lol

  2. Jack on March 12, 2019 at 10:53 PM

    Conclusion: don’t be friend-zoned if you wanna fuck her

    • Anonymous on March 13, 2019 at 5:35 PM

      Indeed

  3. David on March 12, 2019 at 4:16 PM

    Gold. Great story.

    • Anonymous on March 13, 2019 at 5:36 PM

      Thanks man!

  4. Anonymous on March 12, 2019 at 4:11 PM

    wow

  5. TTdeer on March 11, 2019 at 1:01 PM

    Can u do a Youtube video on this?!

    • Anonymous on March 13, 2019 at 5:37 PM

      Not a bad idea, I will see if I can have David to do it

  6. Anonymous on March 11, 2019 at 11:29 AM

    Simply. Amazing.

    • Anonymous on March 13, 2019 at 5:37 PM

      Thanks man

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