How To Cold Approach Any Girl (Ultimate Guide)
In this post, I’m breaking down the best ways to open a girl during a cold approach, along with the common mistakes guys make—so you can minimize rejection.
3 Effective Types of Cold Approach Openers
1) Direct Opener
This is when you go up to a girl and show intent right off the bat. The exact wording can vary, but the girl should know you’re hitting on her immediately. My go-to for girls I see on the street or in a store is:
“Hey, I know this is a bit random, but I thought you were cute and wanted to meet you real quick.”
This works well because you’re acknowledging the weirdness of talking to a stranger, showing intent in a non-simpy way, and giving her a false time constraint—which preempts her fear of getting stuck in an awkward conversation.
For bars and clubs, I use a simpler variation:
“Hey, I’m Alex”
At the same time, I go to shake her hand. I might hold that handshake a bit longer to add subtle sexual tension (depending on her receptiveness and comfort).
This opener is simple but effective because it assumes attraction. You don’t need to directly communicate intent at a bar since it’s already implied—but on the street, it’s not.
2) Indirect to Direct Opener
This is when you go up and ask a neutral question like, “Hey, do you know where Starbucks is?” Then, after a few seconds, you shift into showing intent:
“I’m just kidding, I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi.”
The advantage here is that it gives her some breathing room. Girls get approached often and might auto-reject direct openers, even if they think you’re cute. This opener bypasses that by easing into the interaction.
The indirect part shouldn’t last more than 20 seconds. If you stretch it out too long, it can feel like you’re wasting her time or lacking confidence.
This type of opener is best for street game or daytime approaches—not bars or clubs, where it can come off weak.
3) Situational Opener
This is when you comment on something in the environment or something involving both of you. For example:
- At a grocery store: “Ooh, don’t get that.” (then follow with, “Just kidding, I wanted to meet you.”)
- Walking down the street: “Hey, I think we just had a moment.”
- If she’s texting: “Damn, you’re texting faster than the speed of light.”
The situational opener works everywhere and is arguably the most powerful—if you can think on your feet. If that’s tough for you, stick to direct or indirect-to-direct styles.
The Key to Making It Work
None of these openers will matter if your mindset is off. If you’re worried about rejection or creeping her out, it’ll show—and kill your chances.
You have nothing to lose. Worst case, you’re right where you started. So don’t care what a stranger thinks. Ironically, by not caring, you become more attractive and get rejected less. That carefree, grounded vibe is magnetic.
This won’t happen overnight, but start practicing. Try all three opener types and see what fits.
If you want to speed up your progress and avoid wasting time, join our exclusive mastermind group. It’s full of guys committed to mastering cold approach—sharing wins, asking questions, and holding each other accountable daily.
I’m in there daily, personally answering questions—whether it’s cold approach, mindset, texting, or date logistics. If you’re stuck, I’ll get you unstuck.
Also, our dating course—while focused on apps—covers confidence building, date planning, and mindset that directly helps with cold approach. Joining gets you full mastermind access.
