Today, we’re going to discuss shit tests. If you haven’t heard of these before, it’s ok – I’m going to explain what they are. I’m also going to explain why women use them when it comes to screening for a potential suitor. I’ll also show where men fuck up in identifying one or confusing a concern as a shit test. I’ll do my best to explain what each of them are. I’ll also help you tackle/pass shit tests over text.
First, let’s get some important definitions out of the way:
- Shit-test: This is a way for women to test if a man is congruent. She wants to find out whether you are really that guy you are portraying yourself to be or whether it’s an act that youre are putting on. You won’t see a woman shit test an obviously low value guy, because there is no “act” for him to be putting on.
- Concern/Objection: These usually present during an escalation in the interaction. Say you’re about to go sexual and she hits you with “I’m not that kinda girl”, or something like “I don’t just want to feel like it’s all about sex”, or “I don’t want to meet at your place straight away”. These are NOT shit tests, and it’s important to know the difference. Concerns and objections need to be dealt in a different way.
Now that you’ve understood the difference between the two, I’ll teach you how to handle them. Let’s start with shit tests
Handling Shit Tests Over Text
There are two different angles you can take to handle shit tests:
- Playful: This is where you communicate that you don’t take things too seriously and that you’re not emotionally affected by the backsass she’s giving you. Think of it as if your little niece is giving you shit. You’d just brush it off like it’s nothing.
- Genuine: This is more of an assertive way to handle the shit test and shows the willingness to walk away. Also a way of calling her out on bad behavior. Women tend to enjoy being put in place since it makes them feel more submissive and feel that strong male presence.
What he did right: He agreed and exaggerated playfully what she said without justifying himself. He didn’t get all reactive or butthurt. She reacts positively and soft closes him for a meet up.
Thankfully, he didn’t: Get logical or butthurt. The wrong answer here would have been. “I haven’t told this to anyone but you. You’re my only one”. This would have immediately led to her ghosting him since she knows it’s bullshit and she’d think he’s a man who doesn’t stand his ground.
What he did right: He playfully called out if she were a carnival prize to her “prize framing” herself and that he’d need to be lucky to get her. Also, genuinely told her he’d be down to grab drinks and if she isn’t into it, she isn’t
Thankfully, he didn’t: Try to overtly steal the frame. If he had said “You’re the lucky one since I bring a lot to the table”, he’d have been ghostzoned quite quickly since it’s a bit of a mental battle he can’t come back from easily.
What he did right: He called her out on not understanding that he was just being playful. He stole her frame and said it’s a red flag that she doesn’t get his joke. She awkwardly defends herself and then asks about the date
Thankfully, he didn’t: Get too logical and say something like “I have no red flags. If anything, I’m a great guy and you’re the one who has red flags for not taking this as a joke”
As you can tell, there’s an emotional component to these tactics where the girls are happy if the man shows emotional strength and the attraction goes up. If you get too logical, they instantly get turned off and move on to the next guy
Handling Concerns and Objections Over Text
For concerns/objections, you HAVE to handle it with a genuine tonality since if you joke around an obvious concern, it’s interpreted as lack of social intelligence and the girl will quickly cancel plans to meet up with you
What he did right: She has a concern that she might receive a dick pic if she gives him her number. She is legit under that impression due to her past experiences. She is being a bit judgemental of him. He turns it around with “Is there a reason you’re clubbing me with other men”
Thankfully, he didn’t: Joke around with “Lol. I don’t think you deserve my dick pic yet. I was just going to send you a picture of a flower. Don’t give me your number if you don’t want me to”
What he did right: When she said “Feels like a booty call now”, he just showed some empathy and reframed it as not a booty call for BS plausible deniability. When she showed another hesitation with “That would mean I won’t get the post sex cuddles”, he said that he likes them and she can’t leave without getting them
Thankfully, he didn’t: Just say “Yes. It’s a booty call”. The “Am I a slut?” voice would have kicked in and she’d have dropped him in a heartbeat.
It’s difficult to objectively look and distinguish if it’s a shit test or a concern. Both of them may get you riled up. But, if you put yourself in her shoes, and understand that it’s different for a woman to look at sex the way we do, then you’re putting yourself ahead of a lotta men