Ever had a situation of where everything was going seemingly smooth on a date, but she suddenly rejected having sex with you? For example, she is receptive to your touch, physicality, giggles when you’re talking/flirting, and the sexual tension is high. Then, you pull her home (or into the bedroom if it’s a f-date), and she gives you a “Not right now”, OR “I don’t feel it yet”, or “I’m not that kinda girl”, or “I don’t have sex on the first date” – or just anything that’s going to stop the flow of sex?
This is what is called the last minute resistance (LMR). (Note: I don’t enjoy using the word resistance because it seems like you’re going to force an outcome out of a situation. But hey, I didn’t create the term – I’m just explaining and breaking it down to you.)
Today I’m going to talk about LMR and how to overcome it.
Note About Consent
None of this article should be construed to be in favor of making a woman do something she doesn’t want to do. If a woman ever says “No” or “Stop,” you immediately stop. Non-consensual sex is unacceptable, wrong, and illegal.
Reasons Why Men Get LMR
When I started off in game, I would dread these words when uttered by a woman because I had no clue what to do. I would just stop escalating and just chill/cuddle rather than maintaining that sexual tension which got her to the bedroom to begin with.
The most important thing to keep in mind when receiving LMR is to completely be okay with it. Don’t be pushy (if you keep getting LMR after multiple attempts to escalate, then stop trying to escalate for a bit), and definitely don’t get butthurt / emotionally reactive. If you show that you’re that invested in sex, it’s going to just hurt your chances of actually getting to sex with her.
Instead, the approach is to (quickly and subtly) run through your head the possible reasons she might be giving you LMR. You want to try to find the most likely reason, and then work to address it.
There are generally two main reasons why a girl may be giving you LMR:
- Lack of comfort: A girl may be into you, she may be turned on by you and her emotions are all over the place because she finds you attractive but she just doesn’t feel comfortable. Often the reason is that she may feel like you might just fuck her and never see her again. She doesn’t want to feel used. This may cause the girl to not fully be sure about going through and in the end just part ways with you.
- Lack of attraction: When she has already come all the way to your place or in your bedroom, and she feels comfortable enough to have been lead by you but she just isn’t maintaining eye contact, isn’t okay with proximity and/or she just doesn’t want to make out (or just pecks instead), then she may not be that attracted to you. You may have done a bad job building attraction with her. Or, she may have had higher attraction levels going into the date but you might have done things that may have turned her off to a point that she doesn’t want to take things further.
- Unanswered concern or objection: She might have an unanswered concern. It could be that she is on her period, she hasn’t shaved her legs, or her pussy and she’s embarrassed about it that she just does not want to have sex. Another reason could be that she may think that you only want to fuck her once and not seeing you again. Girls want to keep their body count low because subconsciously she feels like she you don’t want to see her again and she’d rather avoid having sex in the first place
- She is just not ready: She is just not ready to have sex yet. She wants to take time to get to know you more or trust you before she gets intimate with you. And this is where you need to empathize and not push yourself onto her
No matter what the reason is, if a girl has given LMR and she doesn’t go through the bang without a legitimate reason/objection (period, or hasn’t shaved), then the chances of her NOT seeing you again are extremely high. Why? The girl starts backwards rationalizing as to why the sex did not happen.
She may think to herself “Hmm. I would have sex with him if I actually liked him” or “Hmm. Maybe the sex would have just been bad and I had a gut feeling about it”. Doesn’t logically make sense because she’s the one who didn’t “feel it” or take it any further. A known fact is women are typically more emotional at making decisions and hence it’s quite important that you get the bang because then, she is much more invested because she slept with you.
We hear about this regularly from guys in our Mastermind: Guys get really far with a girl, but not to sex. Maybe even to a blowjob or something. The girl promises it’ll happen on the second date, she just “wasn’t ready” on the first. The guy is fully confident he’ll see her again after. He texts her the next day after the date, and she ghosts him. Because she backwards rationalized why sex didn’t happen, and she’s now onto the next guy.
To reiterate clearly: none of this means that you force a girl to do something she doesn’t want to. Instead, it means that you need to improve some part of your game (or address something in the moment).
How to Overcome LMR
Now, what do you do when you get this LMR (regardless of the reason)? I’m going to walk you through the most effective ways I have been able to get over this hurdle.
1. Two Steps Forward, One Step Back
This is the most effective strategy I have ever used in my opinion. This is when you kiss her, kiss her neck, play with her hair… And you’re the one who stops instead of her. This is very effective for two reasons. First, the girl starts thinking “Wait! Why did he stop? Did I do something wrong? Was my kissing wrong? Did I touch him in the wrong place?” rather than thinking “He’s coming off a bit strong. Maybe I shouldn’t fuck him”. Second, a girl can feel like things are moving too fast when you just rev things up by escalating too fast.
LMR can also be caused when she smells desperation on you. If a guy hasn’t gotten laid in a while, he is going to try really hard to get it. This will usually turn girls off because you want her more than she wants you. The “Two steps forward, one step back” approach helps address this as well.
Repeat this step 4-5 times till you escalate further and further each time. I.e. Stopping at the neck -> Stopping at pulling hair -> Stopping at just removing the top -> Stopping at the underwear. She is going to be dripping before she knows it.
Pro tip: When I stop, I take a step back myself physically and just look at her for a bit or completely look away and talk as if nothing really happened so far
2. The Picker Upper
When A fails, try this out. Even if she keeps giving LMR after you’ve done the above 4-5 times, then she may require a bit more dominance in how you are escalating. This typically works well with bratty girls because they feel like a little girl in your arms and they just submit.
Some girls like this just want to be picked up and thrown around rather than gradually turning them on. What you do is just pick the girl up, throw her on the bed and start making out. But don’t accidentally drop her when you do – that’s definitely gonna get her to just leave. (Another good reason to hit the gym.)
3. Logical Investigation
Now you’ve tried both these things, and she is still pretty uncertain or hesitant. She has not left yet but still has been apprehensive towards the idea of having sex that night. At this point, you can logically ask her while keeping a very calm tonality, “Hey. What’s on your mind?” Say this in a tonality of your basketball coach trying to get rid of your nerves before your big game.
She may have a few other reasons than (1) or (2). Often, it’s her period or she hasn’t shaved (or just her lower body). Girls typically do this as a failsafe if they like the guy too much and still want to control themselves.
Your job is to show zero judgement toward whatever the case may be. If she’s on her period, just have a grin on your face, have some concern in the way you speak and say,
“I literally don’t give a fuck about the red fairy. I know women are the horniest during their period.”
This right here communicates to her that you’ve fucked girls on their period before and that removes the fear of you being grossed out by the blood
“I don’t care if you haven’t shaved. Doesn’t bother me one bit”
Same principle. You don’t judge her and let know that you don’t mind it if she hasn’t shaved.
4. When In Doubt, Whip It Out.
This is the last resort approach. When you try to logically get her to surface a concern, and the girl won’t share it with you, just unbutton your pants, take it out, and start jerking off. Sometimes, girls love to tease and want to play the power of “I’m not going to cum and I’m not going to let him cum either”. And if you just try to jerk off in front of her she may be like “Fuck it! Let’s fuck”. Out of the 5 times I’ve tried it, it has worked 4 times for me. Plus, seeing a big dick in front of her may be just enough to get her turned on and emotionally charged enough to get past whatever is blocking her.
NOTE: This should ONLY Be used if things are already hot & heavy. And if afterwards she asks you to stop or seems uncomfortable then you should immediately stop and respect her wish
Conclusion: Busting Through LMR
The biggest things to keep in mind when dealing with LMR are:
- Don’t be pushy.
- Related to #1, but to be clear, you won’t always be able to overcome LMR. Don’t force yourself onto a woman.
- Don’t get emotionally reactive or butthurt.
In short, there are a variety of reasons a girl can give you LMR. It may be that you didn’t attract her enough, she’s not quite comfortable enough with you yet, or she has an unearthed concern or objection.
There are multiple ways to overcome LMR. First, you can reduce the chances of it happening by taking a “two steps forward, one step back” approach to escalation. Second, you can try to be more dominant – while also being careful, since too much pressure is going to turn the girl off completely and end your chances with her. Third, you can start to probe logically to understand what her concern or objection is.
All of that said, you’ll never be able to fully overcome LMR. Some girls will be very easy to close, while others will be quite difficult. Unfortunately, you cannot always close a girl, no matter how DTF she may seem to be. Sometimes, you’ll just have to accept your losses.
Finally, the reason why you want to get through LMR and get to sex is that a girl is typically more invested after having sex. She will want to see you again because now she has been at her most vulnerable spot and you guys connected in a different way.