We often talk a lot more about textgame, online dating and how to build an online dating profile that will optimize your results in dating and meet someone to have amazing sex with. Sometimes, we also talk about approaching women in real life because Alex and I have had quite some experience approaching women in real without ever knowing them priort
So, In this guide, I’m going to be giving you all the necessary steps/mindsets to have when you are starting off in Cold approach. If you had similar experience to me when I first started, then this is for you. I started off with watching RSD videos and doing countless approaches before ever figuring out the right strategy to getting girls from real life game. It wasn’t until consistently going out 8 months straight, did I start getting results. But If I had this guide in front of me 5 years ago, things would have been different.
What will this guide accomplish?
Look at this as a bible. When you have 0 clue about where to start from, then this has to be your daily habit. The mindsets and steps I’m going to go through here will skyrocket your results if you are very disciplined.
- Being social: This is extremely important. Oftentimes, we pedestalize who we are being social to if we are only going to talk to girls to improve our Game. If you’re talking to a new stranger everyday, talking to the next hot girl will be effortless because you aren’t selectively deciding who you are talking to. This is especially key for introverts. A casual 2 minute conversation with a new person everyday will get you out of your anxious zone and not have your mind run a 1000 mile/hr
- Anxiety: Often termed as approach anxiety is extremely natural to have when you are about to talk to a stranger and by trying to avoid it and keep acknowledging it, you’re just going to be giving it more power and making it more and more tangible to a point where it cripples you. Best way to deal with it is that you must accept it’s natural and that you are only feeling excitement because you’re going to meet someone new and that this anxiety is a good thing. This anxiety will only decrease to a significant amount but will never truly go away even after continually approaching a lot of people. Alex & I still get anxiety but we have positive reference experiences that sometimes approaching in spite of this anxiety, we were still able to get the girl
- Momentum: Which brings to my next point, having momentum. Otherwise known as flow state, you have to keep doing something for a period of time to not feel the baseline anxiety level. Let’s say if you start approaching women today and talk to someone new every single day for a month, on day 31, everything will feel super smooth and nothing new. But, if you take a break for a week, you’re quickly going to fall back to your initial stage where you were before you started approaching women. So, It’s very important to make it mandatory to continue the cycle everyday and staying consistent. It’s similar to going to the gym. You’re not going to build muscle just from bouts of working out and then taking breaks in between. The muscles will atrophy back to their original state
- Setting goals: Instead of going and talking to women aimlessly, have specific goals every single time you go out to approach. It doesn’t have to be a session based one but the goals can be for the entire day. For example, approaching 10 women a day. And then progressively up the ante. On day 30, it could be as simple as “Getting 3 phone numbers”
- Easy wins: A mistake I used to make/ lotta guys make is having too many expectations of a daygame/nightgame session should go. Even now, I overestimate how my sessions should go. But it’s important to humble yourself and have the mindset of a newbie. So, look for easy wins everytime you go out. Could be as simple a baseline as “I spoke to these many strangers today. Who does that anymore? Only pussies don’t do this”. Even have the mindset of winning every single approach because the moment you said Hi, you already won. Everything that comes after that is a bonus. Sounds very lame and timid but this is exactly how you control your mind from running into negative narratives about how your game sucks and that you might never get girls
- Smiling: This is an extremely underrated aspect of talking to strangers. A lot of guys get really good at a lot of actionable aspects of game (verbals, sexualizing), etc but never actually incorporate this. When you talk to a girl with an extremely serious face and a monotonous tonality, she will think you have nothing going on in your life and might be instantly rejectedWhen you smile and have a positive outlook in your life, it creates a sense of intrigue in a woman and she wants to be a part of your life because you are content where you are and you’re just adding her to your life rather than making her your entire life
- Sub communications: A majority part of human history has been without languages and the only way we could communicate with each other was through our body. And aspects of these are still in our brain so you’d want to communicate a lot of positive traits through your body.You can have the best verbal game in the world but that will have 0 effect on the girl if you have a wavering eye contact or a hunched up/weak body language. Always notice and pay utmost detail to how you are responding to what a woman says or how you are feeling during the interaction. So, every single time you talk to a woman, multi-task understanding what she is saying, how she is saying and what you are saying and how you are saying. It might be quite overwhelming to think all of these constantly but it will become second nature at some point.. Your eye contact needs to be strong but not creepy. Relax your eyelids. Your body language must be squared up, take space and not put your hands in your pockets. Your chest must be flared up and you have to slow down your breathing.
- Feedback: This can be feedback from girls directly/wings/yourself. When and if you get rejected, you must always try to ask the girl/wing to find out if there was something you could have done better. Maybe something simple like “Hey. I’m trying to get better at interacting with women. What do you think I could improve on?”. The women might not give the best feedback but having that mindset helps because of the willingness to improve. When you do receive this feedback, you MUST take note of it and try not to repeat the same mistake
- Process/timeline expectations: You will absolutely not get good at this in a matter of weeks. It takes months to get even slightly better at this so it’s important to manage expectations because short term disappointments will commonly occur and you’d be easily discouraged. So, enjoy the process but also at the same time keep reflecting at your results and keep aiming for higher every week/10 days.
- Wings: Having wings is important. Either wing with someone who’s on the same level as you or someone who’s better than you. If you wing with someone better than you, you get to learn a lot more and understand things at a much quicker pace. If you wing with someone who’s at the same level as you, you guys would make mistakes neither of you would think was a mistake. So, it’s very important to have a better wing or a mentorAlso, you will get rejected most of the times. So, it’s good to have wings who bring your emotions back up and encourage you. Also a good thing about having a wing is you two can challenge each other to approach in a friendly competitive way
These are some of the basic guidelines you need if you ever want to stop swiping on your toilet seat and start talking to the girls in real life. Trust me, there is a night and day difference in the quality of girls who are strictly on dating apps and those who are strictly NOT on them. One last thing that goes without saying is having that discipline. Motivation will always just be a feeling but having discipline and consistently doing something is the only way you will succeed in that field
Hope that helps,
Indian “Disciplined in Game” PE