Why You Should Never Hire a Female Dating Coach (and What You Should Look for in a Male One)
The dating industry. It’s industry filled with hundreds of Toms, Dicks & Helens claiming he/she is a “dating coach.” So it’s important to know who to hire. Just like the fitness industry, the dating coach industry is getting saturated. There’s so much information out there that, if you’re not careful, you might end up with information fatigue (and maybe even become a Black Piller lol).
Now, you may have at some point though: “To know how to date a woman, you ask a woman right?” And when I was growing up, I always asked my sister what does a woman like. She said I’m supposed to be nice & respectful – while she ended up dating the exact opposite: a douchebag who always knew how to keep her emotions at bay and was “The Asshole” who ended up breaking her heart after 4 years.
From my sister’s advice to advice from cousins, female friends, and so on, I began a brutal journey of being friendzoned for a decade… until I discovered game. When I was learning game, I would always write down the top 3 interactions of the night. And exactly remember verbatim what I said to the girl and what she said back (which is why I have a no alcohol policy with cold approach). From there, I was able to pinpoint the mistakes I made or the reasons I did not end up fucking the girl.
Over the years, when I did fuck girls, I still remember start to finish exactly how the interaction went. This is EXACTLY our brains work (men). We are quite logical and we are the ones who are the SEEKERS, and women are the ones who are the DECLINERS. You don’t see a guy saying “NO” to sex when an attractive girl willfully asks to fuck. Women do that.
If you want to see proof in action of why you shouldn’t trust a female dating coach, the next time you bang a new girl, ask her follow up questions of when she decided to sleep with you, what she remembers about you, does she remember exactly how the conversation went, etc. Most of the time, the girls will say “I’m not sure. It just happened”, “I felt like I could trust you”, “Your vibe was very attractive”. WTF does a “vibe” even mean? Don’t try dissecting too hard. Remember that they make emotional decisions and then rationalize post decision making. Women generally rationalize based on emotions and we rationalize based on logic.
When her female friend asks her the same question. “Why did you sleep with him?”. She is going to answer along the lines of “Idk. I was just feeling him you know. And we had chemistry”. Women don’t have to TRY and sleep with a man. They just have to LET him sleep with her. This is why you can’t really take a woman’s advice. They typically give feedback based off what society tells you.
Instead, let me debunk the myths society/women tell you what works when it comes to dating:
- Just be yourself: This is straight out of any dating advice channel that is catered towards the “Hollywood” ideology around dating. And this 100% applies only to women because if they meet the physical attractiveness threshold for men, most men won’t even think twice before sleeping with her even though she has dogshit of a personality because she was “herself”. This doesn’t apply to us men, especially, when we’re not naturally attractive to a woman. If our personality has not become more attractive over time, then “Just be yourself” is the worst advice you can get for dating. Take it from a guy who stayed a virgin for 26 years because he was “HIMSELF”.
- Be nice & respectful: Recipe for getting friendzoned. Being nice & respectful is almost a manipulative way of getting into a woman’s pants. You’re being sneaky and not honest about your intentions. But in reality, woman will actually lose respect and attraction for you because you’re being dishonest about what you want
- There’s hope for everyone if you wait: Another Hollywood-y notion. You just have to wait for the right person to show up. Utter nonsense. Again, applies only to women since they never have to go out of their way to find a guy to fuck/date. Men are the ones who have to constantly put themselves out there on dating apps, approaching, meeting people. If not, we will stay incels and just end up marrying our video games.
When you hire a female dating coach, this pattern will repeat. As I explain above, women find it quite difficult to put themselves in the shoes of us men. So, they end up giving advice that only hurts us. The rare exception is the woman who is quite self aware of what they respond well to in terms of attraction towards the opposite sex. For example, Courtney Ryan, Kezia Noble, or Marni the Wingwoman. These female dating coaches do have a lot of self awareness and can put into words why exactly they chose a partner or decided to sleep with them. But, these are the exception for sure – and good reason to just completely avoid a Female Dating Coach.
So, if not them, Who? And how?
The unfortunate news is (apart from PWF 😉 ), there are only a few legit guys out there who will give great dating advice and have gone through the painful and tedious process of game themselves.
So when you’re looking to hire a coach, you need to ask them for tangible proof of their interactions and how the sex happened. I.e., lay reports, proof of them being with a significantly more attractive partner, and screenshots from match to meet and bang.
Beyond that, you also need to talk to their previous students. After all, to hire a coach or even buy a product, you’re making a financial investment (and for 1:1 coaching, probably a huge investment). You want to get your money’s worth. There’s a lot of popular Red Pill channels that don’t do the dating marketplace any favours. These are the guys who circle jerk around “mindsets” 24/7, yell at their camera in the basement, and are NEVER seen with a girl. Do not hire these guys because all they do is talk about “Focusing on yourself” and that women chase you if you do that
I absolutely believe it’s extremely helpful when you’re learning to get good with women to get a mentor or a coach to cut down your learning curve proportional to the time and effort you put in. But again, you need to filter the bad ones out.
How to Filter the Bad Ones out:
- Ask for Proof: If there’s a dating coach out there who just talks and does not walk the talk, instantly screen them out. They will just end up scamming you and getting you to put in more and more money. When asking for proof, don’t take just one or two girls as proof. Get proofs of lay reports, Tinder screenshots, videos with more than a few of him with different girls and different levels of attraction.
- Reviews: Talk to their students if you can ask them their proof of results. You don’t want someone who throws in fake students and then asks them to brag about the service he provides. And also, ask the students if they are happy with THEIR results. What is good results to you might not be good for them and vice versa
- Overpromising: With high pressure marketing tactics, dating coaches do tend to over promise what you may achieve if you hired them as yours or joined their bootcamp. Instantly screen them out. If they are being realistic about results and expectations, that’s when you can trust them since getting good with women isn’t an overnight magic pill. You DO have to pay your dues. Have to change your complete core personality if that personality has not given you the results you want so far
Hope that helps,
Indian “Legit indian coach” PE.