The following article is a guest post by Chen City
WARNING: THE CONTENT YOU’RE ABOUT TO SEE IS VERY MANIPULATIVE
People have been unconsciously doing it since the dawn of time, but I’m not sure if anyone has attempted to put this knowledge in words with such precision and depth as I plan to in the coming weeks.
You can learn this shit ,or take the natural course and fall a victim to it.
The number one most common mistake guys make when texting is being too needy by taking on the chasing role.
“Let’s grab a coffee.” – guy
“Sure!” – girl
“When are you free?” – guy
“Maybe this weekend.” – girl
“Friday?” – guy
*disappears* – girl
This post covers some of the most effective ways to push and inspire people to do things without seemingly “pushing” for it.
One of the most impressive skills from Nitin’s text game is his ability to inspire and provoke meet ups without being the one to actively push for it.
This will overall decrease flakes and get girls chasing a lot faster and harder.
But the most valuable reason why you want to learn this is because it provides a way to get over non-compliance without chasing.
When you are chasing a flakey girl, you are essentially rewarding bad behavior, which shows you have no standards.
The opposite is what you want to do. Punish bad behavior to establish strong boundaries.
This will be very powerful in all social aspects of your life, not just your dating life.
This is influence.
There are many ways to go about this and I’m going to break it down for my own learning and share it here later on, but here’s a list of how you can negatively impact her into explaining herself:
1. Imposing a negative frame on her (accusation), boxing her so she has to fight her way out of it.
A classic example that’s very common in the group is “if you’re nervous, i’d totally understand.”
When you do shit like that, girls are very inspired to fight their way out of that perception.
“What? he thinks I’m nervous? scared of him? Does he not know how valuable I am?”
Then proceeds to qualify themselves and explain what is actually happening (their real concern).
Alexander Lindberg and I were coming up with a list of stereotypes that girls of different archetypes would HATE to be identified with and we found a few factors that make this effective.
1. If you can accuse the person of being something that is directly the opposite of a characteristic or personality trait that she holds dear to her identity
– frame a party girl as an innocent girl
– frame a bitchy sassy girl as the only nice girl in the club. so comforting
– frame an artistic girl as being basic
This will hit hard and she will most likely start qualifying herself or explaining the situation.
2. If you accuse the person of something that she’s insecure about. This one takes a lot of skills and calibration.
– framing a young girl as immature and childish
– framing a normal girl as a basic girl (no girl wants to be basic)
– A rich girl for being spoiled and over-entitled.
This takes more skills because you have to be skilled enough not to tip it over the edge and be able to recover from it.
3. If you make the person feel bad through one of these ways
– just accuse her of something that is completely not true or exaggerated. This is one of the worse feelings and people often will get reactive and start explaining themselves
-painting yourself as a giver and using the rule of reciprocity to paint yourself as a victim and guilt trip them. This can be very effective but making an emotional impact is key.
The underlying principle is that you accuse her of something negative, which she then has to fight her way out of and start offering answers.
This is much better than you pushing for the answers directly and taking on a chasing frame.
These are all ways of provoking an emotional response from her so she starts taking you seriously, explaining herself and start investing.
But anyway here are the screenshots of one example of turning around a sexy thick Hungarian girl for me in Budapest.
Look closely and you can see the principles I listed at play here.