If you’ve been following our content, you should know that even an average-looking girl is bombarded with high-quality matches/likes with men. And if you’re newer to PWF, the summary is this: the competition on Tinder is quite high, gentlemen. Not to worry. If you match with a hottie, you can still get the number and move things forward. But…it’s going to be a pain in the ass at times.
If you got dozens or hundreds of likes a day, you’d be no different than an average/hot girl who gets that. When the amount of attention a girl is getting is so overwhelming, she will often stop taking apps seriously. She’ll check it once in a blue moon when she is bored. And maybe she’ll reply to a bunch of guys at once and then exit the app again. This is the gist of why you see these kinds of girls give really flaky behaviour.
One big indicator of these kinds of girls is when she doesn’t have any Tinder bio. Or, she just puts up her Instagram in her bio, and nothing else.
When girls act like this, they need a bit of a push. A bit more of an incentive to see you. I’ll give you some guidelines on how to get this girl’s attention. (Note that this isn’t going to be a focus on the best Tinder opener you should use for someone like her.)
Strategy for dealing with flaky girls on Tinder:
- Show Value: If you live in a mid-size to big city, hot girls get access to high-value experiences simply because they’re hot. Think of things like exclusive parties. So for example, in Miami (where Alex and I live), a girl will flake on you just because she was invited to a DJ booth or a boat. So, you’re gonna have to beat that. You don’t have to BUY a table. But, mention high-value things in your conversation, in subtle ways. Show her you’re a high-value man.
- Show pre-selection: If you communicate that you have dated hotter girls than her, then you may be perceived as having equal/higher value to her. The key to doing this well is to do it in a subtle way. Remember: the lifestyle she is surrounded by always keeps boosting her perceived self-value higher. Have a lot of hot women in your life shows you are a high-value guy.
- Call-outs and re-engaging: Be prepared to persist. And not just sending her different texts over a span of days/weeks. You also need to call her out. Like, give her a kick in the back to get her ass up to come to see you. They are flakey solely because of options and always having something on their agenda. The vast majority of guys this type of girl matches with give her tons of attention and don’t call out her flaky behaviour (ignoring his texts, not meeting up, etc.). If you call her out and almost give an ultimatum in a subtle, non-butthurt way, it will work wonders.
One thing to also keep in mind is that the way she isn’t taking dating apps seriously, you should not take her so either. In parallel, work with other leads. Keep talking to other girls and when you’re BORED, and you remember her, then ping her. Don’t go out of your way to do it. At some point, it will get frustrating but you have nothing to lose in the end if you don’t assert too much of your mental energy on her.
With these things in mind, I’ll show you how a 2-month persistence with a Bumble hottie converted to a 40-minute lay after a public date. I’ll go through the screenshots and the way I ran my date.
Flaky Girl Part 1: Bumble Texting to Get Her Number
Takeaways from the number close:
- As you already see, it requires a few re-engages at the opener itself. And then she remembered me from a place. It was actually not at E11even but at a regular bar. I used that to demonstrate the value that she must have met me at the DJ booth.
- I play coy that I meet a lotta people and forget. And validate her showing interest. You must also make sure you don’t demonstrate too much value – if you go overboard, you will make her feel as if you are unattainable, and you’ll lose her interest.
- A bit of banter/vibing back and forth followed by some preemptive objection handling followed by a soft-close and number close
- I did text her from my previous phone and she has always been flakey throughout the phone conversation. Unfortunately, I lost my phone and I still hit her up from the text app. Here are the screenshots!
Flaky Girl Part 2: Texting Her Off of Bumble
- The pattern of flakiness is at a whole different level as you can see. She confirms multiple times that she’s down. One of the days she even tells that she would be down for 8 pm. But, lo & behold just ghosts
- One thing to notice is when she said “What’s with the ghosting”, it’s important to playfully call her out. I did so by “Nice little attempt at gaslighting there”
- At some points, you can definitely feel yourself getting frustrated while reading this yourself. But, as I suggested above, don’t exert much mental energy on a girl like her. So, it was just as if I was throwing stones into the river and not expecting more than a casual ripple
- A few days ago, I decided to give it one last shot. As you see, I suggest that we meet and I give her an ultimatum. That we should meet before I leave town for a week and if she is not interested in that, that’s okay
- She goes with a “Yes. Let’s” and then again requires another re-engage. She tries to flake again saying that she will definitely be interested in seeing me once I come back from town. But, I know this wasn’t going to happen
- So, I call out hard. “Do you consider yourself a flake?”. I wanted her to question herself and her interest in me and be fair and give me a NO or a YES and not a Maybe or a Let’s see. This was quite powerful since when I met her she said “I knew if I flaked today you were going to stop talking to me”
- She quickly changes her mind even though she had a legitimate reason for work assignments to accomplish.
- She agrees and showed up at the date
Flaky Girl Part 3: Breaking Down the Date
This was extremely smooth sailing. She had a bit of ADD (go figure!) and would switch attention a lot while conversing mid-sentence. Again! Called it out. A bit insensitive but it had to be done. Some girls need to be treated as kids.
I go “You don’t have a great attention span. Do you?”
Me: “It’s okay. But keep your focus here… on the Prize!”
Almost prize framing myself. On the date, I also demonstrated a lot of value. That I’m my own boss and that I own a business together with my partner. That I make my own hours and I make time for people I want to (subtly implying the “I choose you” frame)
Mid conversation, we were exchanging our mental-physical compatibility with different horoscope signs. She says she had an amazing sex with Capricorns but they were toxic men.
“I’ve had a similar experience with Virgos. My ex was Virgo. She was very hot, a model and yet she had emotional baggage and was a bit drama craving and manipulative”
I pulled out my phone and showed a picture of a girl I dated and her eyes suddenly lit up. She had this smile on her face “Wow. He has dated hotter girls than me. I want him too”. Now, the frame was flipped.
I was the higher SMV guy and I was making the conscious effort to choose her and that’s what persistence can do. It’s only needy if you make it to be. If you communicate that you don’t have options and only then you’re trying so hard to get her out, she will smell that from a mile away
Mid conversation, I say “Come closer”. She leans in. We kiss. And instantly she goes “Ugh. I’m so mad I’m on my period”
I keep a straight face and say “Idgaf. I’m a man. The red fairy never bothered me”
Up until this point, it was never explicit that we were going to have sex. But when she said she was on her period, I knew this one was in the bag. I pulled her home after finishing our drink. She even offered to pay her share of the check. Fuck you. Nelly!, Banged her for a good 3 minutes. Had an incredible ass and a strong head game that I came in her mouth. She left after and we said our goodbyes
Summary: How to Get a Flaky Girl to Meet
The name of the game is persistence. A lot of guys are afraid to be persistent, worried they’ll come across as needy. But girls actually appreciate persistence, as long as it’s done carefully (read the sentence near the beginning of this article where I tell you to focus on other girls and not worry too much about her – that’s the mindset you want to have).
Especially if the girl is hot. Most guys give up way too easily and assume she’s “disrespecting”. She just has too many options she is overwhelmed by and you gotta stand out. To find the prize, you need to be the last dick standing and demonstrate value, and when necessary, assert boundaries by calling out her shitty behaviour. What do you have to lose?!
Indian “Persisterer” PE.