When you start experiencing success and getting consistent results in Game or texting girls online to get laid, you start to realize that some women require a lot more effort than others. Maybe that’s the beauty of it all that NOT every girl is going to like you right off the bat. And not every girl will want to fuck in less than 10 texts exchange. In fact, some girls are going to play hard to get.
If you’ve been watching Red Pill content, for god’s sake just delete all the information they give you on how to text a girl. Red Pill content creators always put their ego above meeting a stranger.
If you watch those guys, or many others, you’ll hear some silly ideas, like these:
- If a girl likes you, she will show it: This is straight up a self-centered way of thinking. If you’re matching a girl on a dating app and you’re texting to meet her, why in the hell should she show you interest? She doesn’t know you. She is going to play coy until she actually meets you in person. Until then, you’re just another match. If you take her lack of interest personally, you have some serious ego to take care of.
- Texting should be just to set up a meet: This is wrong on so many levels. The best approach to getting a girl to meet you is by getting her invested in the idea of meeting up. Let’s say if she was sexually attracted to you already and you show no emotions/banter skills, and stick to only going for the meetup, she’s going to think you’re going to fuck her for quick 30 seconds, roll over and sleep. So, it’s important to be patient and get her invested
- Double texting is a waste of my time (“I’m a high value male”): We can’t emphasize how awful this mindset is. People, more commonly women, typically have the attention span of an ant. So, a lot of times, they check your text and respond in their head, thinking they already responded. Or, they plan to respond later and then completely forget. Which HAS to be expected behavior since she never met you. You are NOT a priority just like she should NOT be in yours. She is just part of 20-30 girls you’re texting at the same time. You’re not special just because you call yourself a “high-value male.”
- If she flakes, she found a better, higher-value male as an option: Although this may be true in some cases, it’s in the minority. Girls will flake more commonly if there’s an unaddressed concern – or simply because you’re not a priority yet. Maybe she feels like you are only looking for a quick hookup and she doesn’t feel like she should add another person to her body count without a clear future. Maybe she didn’t like the place you suggested to meet, etc etc. There are a lot of concerns that she can have, which if unaddressed will get her to flake on you. And sometimes, just at the last minute, a girl doesn’t feel too eager to meet up.
So if you believe any of these misconceptions, it’s time to forget them. But still, it can be frustrating when a girl is playing hard to get. So let’s turn our attention on how to text them.
I’d preface this by saying that if you remove the above mindsets around texting women and if you’re running a lot of volume when it comes to matching and meeting girls online, she isn’t actually “playing hard to get.” She just needs a little push, persistence, and investment.
Mind you, there will also be some girls who are absolutely not going to meet and will just toy around with you with 0 intention of meeting up. We call those “time wasters” here at PWF – and it’s important to screen those out. But if you’re sure you don’t have a time waster, but a girl seems to be playing “hard to get”, these are the 3 key components to texting her:
- Have multiple leads in the pipeline: It’s easy to get frustrated if you don’t get enough matches to work with/girls to text you back, so it’s a given that you need a good profile to appeal to a wider range of women so you can gather more matches and text many girls simultaneously. You need to be able to schedule 1-3 dates a week so you’re in constant influx of matches/women in the pipeline. Don’t have to feel guilty about this. Women are literally doing the same.
- Timely follow ups: Women love a persistent guy and as long as you’re not coming across needy or sending 15 “hey”’s back to to back in a row, you will be able to turn around a lot of girls. So, it’s important to keep following up with each lead. Rule of thumb is after sending quadruple texts is where you give up. The texts need to be spaced out from days to weeks if possible
- Concerns are quite common: Not every match will have the smooth transition from the initial opener to the meet up. So, at every point, you need to understand whether she has a concern and how you can handle it
With these 3 in mind, let’s get right into an example of a student I coached handling one of these girls:
Breakdown & Takeaways:
- Opener – “Hey trouble wanna steal my comfiest hoodie?”. We ran an experiment with this opener with a decent profile and got a 90%+ response rate and she bites with “Yes please”
- He doesn’t probe her with more hoodie stuff and goes into the basics. A good segue to get her invested. He then goes to show interest with “Just a romantic man who has a soft spot for gingers”.
- She bites with “I do need some romance in my life”. He rewards that with “We’ll get along well then” and proceeds to ask her if she’s adventurous. The more adventurous she says she is, the more she will be willing to conform to that and show that she is by meeting you or talking about the most adventurous thing she’s ever done
- And then he goes for the classic wine close. She again bites with “That sounds like fun to me”. A bit of back and forth for the choice of wine and this is where he first fucks up
- He went for the same night close even though he didn’t know whether she was actually available to meet. In texting, you need to avoid having “no”s as much as possible. I’d have first figured out her schedule and set a day ahead because there were no indications that she was free the same night
- When she says “maybe tomorrow”, he goes for the time. This is where you need to read between the lines and realize she has a concern because of the “maybe”. IF she was already invested enough to meet up, she wouldn’t have said the word maybe. So, I’d have first addressed that with “You don’t sound confident” or “maybe?” (in quotes)
- She says “ya sure” but because the concern wasn’t addressed, she will end up flaking. Which happens when he goes for the number as you can see.
- He follows up with “Yes? No? Maybe?” And that’s when she gives him the “No i’m sorry” and he perfectly digs out the concern. She says it’s too soon
- As expected, she isn’t feeling invested enough to meet up. IF you have the childish Red pill mindsets, you would immediately unmatch her thinking she’s not interested in you.
- He gives her a poorly timed ultimatum to ask if he should stop trying if she isn’t interested in him. And then she hits him with another concern “I just feel like all you want is sex and i don’t want just sex”
- This is a beautiful text from her because we now know the reason for her flaking. They never even talked sexually but she already has the notion that the sex would happen and that he would only want her for that.
- “When did I say anything about sex?” and she says that because he suggested 9 pm it means sex, LOL @ the logic from her. Then he addresses it really well with “Can you ask me before making assumptions on my behalf based on time? Lol”
- She was being silly here but she still had a legit “No ONS” concern. She ghosts and he follows up 3 days later with “Mic check 1..2. She asks why he’s still texting her
- And he shows intent again “Why would I not? You’re just my type…”. This is an attractive quality because he’s going for what he wants without being pushy. He tries to go for the meetup again for the same night but she’s with her mom.
- He then re-addresses her concern and she gives a similar objection about “What if you murdered me?”. This is another concern because the meetup attempt happened too quick for her comfort
- He then addresses it with a twist on the famous pwf line of “Don’t worry, I gave up serial killing for lent to take up my passion in wine tasting”. She ghosts again. He follows up with “What would you like to know about me?”
- She then asks his intentions on the app and he doesn’t quite do it right. I’d have gone with “A cool girl I have chemistry with. Someone I can see consistently. Not interested in one time things. Kinky sex & cuddles definitely a plus”
- They then ask each other with “Get to know each other” questions and he attempts to soft close again by replacing guitar singing with the wine since she doesn’t want to drink and wine.
- He then goes for the 4th attempt without being pushy at all and she just lets him know that she has work in the morning. He doesn’t respond to that and just re-engages the next day.
- He then says he is looking for some company to spice things up. She then indicates that she can come over after she is done hanging out with friends. He is (along with us) surprised that she was willing to be spontaneous that particular night. They then discuss logistics
- She even says “You have a condom right?”. Lol. This is how things can change if you play text game right. The contrast between “No i’m sorry” to “You have a condom right?” is the main point of focus
Keys to Texting & Overcoming a Girl Who’s Playing Hard to Get
When you take away all your ego and not tie it to a particular interaction/girl, you’ll even be able to objectively come up with optimal texting because you’re not scared to lose the lead. Also, when you have a great profile, you don’t have the scarcity mindset of trying to make every interaction desperately work. You’ll just go about it lightheartedly without feeling too invested in 1 single person.
When it comes to texting such girls, it will NOT always go smoothly. You can be as optimistic as possible but always keep in mind that she might just not be invested yet, has concerns, or just needs a little nudge towards the right direction.
Lastly, don’t ego-defend yourself with silly phrases like “Texting a girl this much is such a waste of time” or “If she’s into me, she will show”. Girls don’t operate that way. It’s your job as the man to take the lead so she can just follow you. And besides, all this texting combined and stacked up was probably 10 minutes time to text. You’re NOT the POTUS to worry about losing 10 minutes of your time.
Indian “Address That Objection” PE.