This guide is designed for those situations when a girl wants you to commit the biggest sin…meeting in public. Haha.
Yes, Alex advocates strongly for pulling girls straight to the house. There are obvious benefits to this of course: mainly, if she’s coming straight to yours, she’s probably DTF.
But guys often ask me, “She won’t agree to meet me at my place. Should I agree to a public date? If I do it, how do I pull her to my place?” I actually enjoy public dates and the challenge they bring. But, they’re not for everyone. I’ve decided to write this guide for you, so you can know all of the tricks for how to get laid on the first date. Even when the date is in public, you can consistently have sex with a girl on the first date.
Should I Do a Public Date?
Only you can answer this question. But, I’d look at it through a few perspectives:
How is your current abundance? How many different girls are you seeing right now and how happy are you with them? Of course, if you’ve got a solid rotation with a lot of hotties, then you might be less inclined to agree to meet in public.
How hot is she? It probably makes more sense to accept a public date for a girl who’s 2 points hotter than the girls you’re used to banging, and less sense to accept a public date for a girl who’s a point or two lower than those girls.
How likely do you think it to be “on”? What’s your sense of how likely she is to be dtf? If you get the sense a girl’s a total prude and 100% has her mindset on avoiding sex on the first date or is saving herself for marriage, for example, it may not be worth it.
Do I “Lose the Frame” By Agreeing to Meet in Public?
Sometimes I get asked this because guys are afraid that after pushing for a meet at their place, doing a public date “loses the frame” to the girl. In general, agreeing to the request for a public meet is handling a concern of hers, not changing to her frame. As Alex points out in the Online Dating Blueprint, girls can have real stranger danger about going straight to your place.
If a girl insists on a date where you buy her dinner or take her on an activity, though, then this isn’t something I’d agree to. If she forces you into an elaborate first date like this, then you are losing the frame.
Ok, I Want to Meet Her in Public. What Do I Need to Know?
Well, go ahead. Meet them outside. Because today, I’m going to give you my personal structure of how I run dates and close girls on the first date. This guide is based on two assumptions:
You have some level of value
She is bought into the idea of meeting up with you
At this point, it’s irrelevant that she’s decided to fuck you yet or not. We can change her mind 😉
Pre-Requisites for a Public Date
- Type of the date: You always only want to stick to drinks. Maybe coffee if she’s underage. Now, why is that? If you get dinner with her, all that blood in her brain which could be going to her erogenous zones will instead be directed straight to the stomach. So, even if she’s horny, she will feel tired and groggy. She’ll want to go home after. Drinks set a more romantic/sexual frame since it gets the creative and sexual juices flowing. If she keeps insisting on getting dinner, move on! She’s just trying to get a free meal out of you. Work on sexualizing over text better.
- Location of the date: Meet at a bar as close to your place as possible. Walking distance from your house is most ideal since if she came in her car and you did too, it’s easier for her to take the “L” after the date and not continue. If there’s not a bar closeby, Uber to the bar so you can use the excuse of her dropping you off to pull home. Trust me. It’s so easy to get girls to do that once they’ve invested time into you.
- Type of the bar: DEFINITELY NOT a club or even one that has super loud music. You want to be able to listen to each other talk. Somewhere chill and relaxed. No boujee lighting that’s too dark to maintain eye contact. Pick a place that has a lounge feel. More importantly, you want somewhere that has booths/couches to sit next to each other. Sitting across from each other in chairs will almost always act as a physical barrier for physicality. If you’re traveling to a city/country, make sure your Airbnb is next to a few date options.
- What to wear: We have a whole bonus section dedicated to fashion in the Online Dating Blueprint, but here’s what I do. Have a decent enough button up ready. I literally wear two different shirts to dates. A pair of ripped jeans and some nice shoes. A leather jacket to look even cooler. You want her to go “Hmm. He looks even better in person” when she first sees you. Be well-groomed, take a shower before the date and more importantly, carry mints with you.
What to Do on the Date? A Structure to Have Sex on the First Date
During the date, always have the mindset that you are going to pull her home after the bar date. This pull will only be possible if the right frames are set. The frames you’d want to set are SEXUAL, SPONTANEOUS, and ADVENTUROUS.
What to do on the date:
Step 1: Know the Venue (Pre-Scouting)
Ideally, pick a bar you know so you can scope out the good isolated areas where you can have a lot more intimate conversation with her, with less interruptions and noise from other tables. Ask her her ETA and text her 2 minutes after that “I’m here”. We don’t want it to seem like you were extremely eager to meet her and you arrived early
Step 2: Greet Her
When she says she’s there, go out to the entrance of the bar as if you had just arrived as well. Hug greet her and just go to the booth which you picked. You can even throw in a joking compliment “Ty for not being a 300lb black guy”. The key is confidence and a slight smirk. Tell the waiter when you get there early about the booth you’d like to sit in.
Step 3: Sit Down & Chat
Tell her to sit in the inside end of the booth, with you on the aisle end. Just chat a little. Ask about her day. When she asks you back, always give a high-value answer. Went to the gym. Did some yoga. Cooked for myself. Walked the dog. You get the idea. Never say “It was a boring day” or “I didn’t do much” or “I did nothing today”, or anything else low value like that.
Step 4: Banter
It’s very important that you avoid superficial conversations as much as possible. When she talks too much about stuff that is irrelevant to this structure and your goal of pulling her home, change the topic. An easy way to change the topic is to start by saying, “I’m actually curious…”. This stops her train of thought, and she’ll want to know what you’re going to say next.
Some go-to questions to ask which set the right frames:
“What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?”
“What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done when you were traveling?”
“On a scale of 1-10, how adventurous are you?”
The conversation can always very easily turn sexual using questions like these.
Step 5: Build Sexual Tension
Most important when it comes to any man to woman interaction is eye contact. You’re sitting next to each other. It will feel a little awkward to stare into her eyes by turning your neck towards her but deal with it. Eye contact is crucial to building sexual tension. She won’t feel it’s awkward since she would just be focusing on the sexual tension.
Light touches on the knee and arm are also a good way to build sexual tension. Another big factor is your physical proximity. The closer you are to her, the more sexual tension there will be. Play around with getting a little closer to her, then pulling back for a minute, before going another 10% closer. You want the sexual tension to be in a state of push and pull / pressure on and pressure off (not just push or pressure on the whole time).
Step 6: Direct the Convo in a Sexual Direction
Well, if you want to fuck the girl, you’re gonna have to get over that escalation anxiety and do things the right way. It’s quite easy to turn the conversation sexual.
Why is it important? Well, to you, talking about sex should be like second nature. The more comfortable you are with such topics, the more comfortable she’ll feel, so she’ll be able to open up more. Never hesitate or look away when sexual topics come up that are initiated by you.
However, you also want to be socially calibrated. If she is nervously changing the topic, then chat about other shit for a bit, and let her gain more comfort before returning to the sexual topics. If you keep pushing sexualization in the conversation and she’s not comfortable, you’re going to come off as a creep. And, if she thinks you’re creepy, there’s no way you’re getting laid!
When it comes to talking about sex, lower your voice tonality, slow the way you talk about it and have a grin on your face. You want to be looking at her like you’d fuck her right then and there.
My go-to lines for turning a conversation sexual:
“When was your last relationship?”
“What was fun about that relationship?”
“Was the sex good?”
“Please tell me he ate your pussy. Did he?”
“What’s the most oral orgasms you had with him?”
“What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done sexually?”
“Have you ever been tied up?”
“What are your sexual fantasies?”
“Ever been with a woman?”
The 4th question is mainly asked to show your own sexual prowess. You shamelessly tell her that you love eating pussy. That you are so good and experienced that you’d give her the most oral orgasms she’s ever had. This will get her intrigued. Tell her it’s your favorite thing to do. Especially for the reason that she’ll be so turned on after good oral that she’ll be begging for more. Telling her that you like to make women beg to get fucked always builds more intrigue and shows that you have options and your own standards. Throw in a subtle mention that you only have sex with a woman if you have chemistry with her (and that without it, you’d never sleep with a woman). This frame will help preempt any emotional concerns she may have around sleeping with someone on the first date.
The 7th question shows a ton of sexual value to her. You are communicating that you have tied up a woman before and that women have loved it. All girls are usually quite intrigued or even slightly interested in exploring BDSM. Most men are too timid to actually help her try out these fantasies, however, so showing your comfort with this is a major attraction trigger.
Now, these questions are all well and good. They set some important frames for you: open-mindedness, sexual authority, and adventurous/wild.
Now, this will come only after some practice. You tell the girl exactly how you’d fuck her. Many guys tell me, “Why would I dirty talk her? She’ll just find out when she fucks me.” I’ll tell you now, this mindset is WRONG!
Dirty talk is so fucking craved by women. That’s why they love reading novels like 50 Shades of Gray and watching sensual movies with build up instead of porn. So, once you’ve set the right frames, it’s time to make it more personal. Paint a picture in her mind of you two together in a room. Describe every detail on how you’d start getting her naked. How you’d pin her against the wall. How you’d kiss all over her neck while you run your hands all over her body. You get the idea. About how you’d tie her up and eat her pussy. If you can do this right, the girl will be dripping wet with anticipation. You always want to make sure you’re dirty talking either while you’re looking into her eyes, or you ask her to come closer to you and you whisper the dirtiest stuff in her ear.
If you have a tough time coming up with your own dirty talk sequences, go through our PWF Love Reports, where you can literally copy and paste the sexts to practice yourself.
Sealing the Deal
If you don’t turn her on enough with your words or actions, or if you don’t set the right frames, you’re going to struggle to pull her from the date to your place.
Once you’ve got her super turned on and you’ve gone through the steps above, it’s easy to pull. You just want to give her some plausible deniability now, so you can say something like, “Let’s have one glass of wine at mine and then you can go. But, just one glass though. I need to wake up early”.
When she agrees, get the check, grab her hand, and lead her to your home.
Once you’ve got her in your home, it’s time to escalate. Fortunately, Alex created this video that shows you exactly how to do that, and you can watch it here.
RECAP: DATE DONT’S
- Have poor hygiene – This is a guaranteed way to fuck yourself over. Take a shower, brush your teeth, wear deodorant (and a good cologne can’t hurt), and chew some gum/mints
- Sit Far Away – You want to be sitting nice & close to the girl to have a more intimate vibe
- Talk about cliche/boring shit – You don’t want the date to be boring. Keep things exciting and have fun with it
- Mainly Talk about yourself – This is what most guys do but it is also a recipe for disaster. Instead, talk about her, what’s around you at the moment, and you two together (we frame)”
- Avoid sexuality – Make sure “it’s on” before pulling to give her a reason to come home with you and minimize potential last-minute resistance.
Until next time,