How to Handle Dry Spells
This article is going to help you deal with dry spells and how to go around them and not let you lose your mental stability (figuratively) when you encounter one. If you’ve been watching our YT, reading my guides and taking the right action for your dating life, then you’re probably at least decently successful with women and can get laid with some consistency. But, there’s not a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow. When you first start seeing really good results, you’re gonna get a high out of banging so many girls and being validated by them as a result. You’re gonna feel invincible and in control and that nothing can ever go wrong. But, that’s where you’re mistaken.
What’s a dry spell?
Well, it’s the opposite of consistently getting laid. You’ll have periods where you will NOT get girls. Your matches will go down, your flake rate will increase, and you will not close girls on first dates. And your fuck buddies may drop off. Breaking News! Every single person has them (including me). Especially if you’ve taken up the self improvement journey. I don’t know why, but it’s just a very common phenomenon. And I know from experience that when you encounter dry spells, you can be stuck feeling like shit, questioning why you’re putting time into game, or just frustrated at yourself. Over time, I’ve been able to come up with specific mindset guides so you don’t get frustrated during your dry spells.
1. Figure out your drive to game
Guys try to get better with women for many reasons. May it be to find a girlfriend/get consistent sex or just build meaningful connects and intimacy with women. The last thing you need to do is get into game for validation. The validation that all your friends know you get laid, or that you feel like a better man when you do. When you attach your emotions with your success with women, this will happen. You will feel very fulfilled when you get laid, and very disappointed if you don’t. Female validation will never be constant unless you’re a celebrity. So, having a clear end goal that isn’t based on the flimsy nature of women is not going to help you.
2. Picking up a hobby
When I got dry spells, I would always try learning something new. My most recent hobby that I picked up was chess. This was when I had a dry spell of 2 months where absolutely nothing was clicking when I interacted with women. And now, when I get a flake, I actually enjoy just going to smoke some hookah and playing chess on my phone. Almost feels like meditation. Which brings me to my next point
When you encounter these dry spells, your emotions/self worth and world views will be all over the place. You will feel like a victim, curse yourself for making the tiniest of mistakes and so on. You need to take up meditation during this time. Any time you feel emotional, you need to meditate for 15 minutes. Absolute silence, deep breathing and having a straight posture without having anything in your mind
4. Abundance mindset
This is a tough one to cultivate. It’s really important that you don’t let yourself get too big of a head when you start getting laid. You have to assure yourself “You did a good job. But it’s temporary”. Just like you’ll have highs, you’ll have lows. So, the thing I tell myself when I don’t get laid is “If I don’t get laid today, I will in a week, or a month or 6 months from now. This is also temporary” This mindset, when done right will actually even help you with your game because you’re not desperate for sex. The girl can smell that you are completely okay about not getting laid on a date and she will be intrigued “Wow. He doesn’t care about sex. I’ll make him care about it. I’ll try to seduce him”
Not for the faint of heart. But, I truly believe going out in nature, enjoying the walks, going to the ocean, or doing a skii trip, all of these really help your mind to calm down. When you switch your focus from being dependent on another human (women) for your emotional ups and downs, to something that you genuinely enjoy, you feel more complete and the satisfaction you get from it is real and worth something
I think it’s very important to understand that Game should only be a part of your life. A part that should have nothing to do with your overall fulfillment in life. Game should be used for becoming a better person, an overall attractive man that’s good with connections, intimacy and has a drive. Game was the one that allowed me access to the friends I have now and the kind of girls I have in my life. But when I get dry spells, I sometimes feel a bit of a relief that I can do things I love, whether it’s hanging out with friends, family, or playing chess.
Hope that helps,
Indian “Focus on yourself” PE.