How to approach a girl?

In this guide, I’m going to show you the best ways to approach a girl, along with the common mistakes that you need to avoid – so you can minimize rejection. We will break down the different types of openers to take all the guesswork out of approaching girls for you

3 Effective Types of Cold Approach Openers

1) Direct Opener – This is when you go up to a girl and show intent right off the bat. The exact wording can vary, but the girl should know you’re hitting on her immediately. My go-to for girls I see on the street or in a store is:

“Hey, I know this is a bit random, but I thought you were cute and wanted to meet you real quick.”

This works well because you’re acknowledging the weirdness of talking to a stranger, showing intent in a non-simpy way, and giving her a false time constraint—which preempts her fear of getting stuck in an awkward conversation.

For bars and clubs, I use a simpler variation:

“Hey, I’m Alex”

At the same time, I go to shake her hand. I might hold that handshake a bit longer to add subtle sexual tension (depending on her receptiveness and comfort).

This opener is simple but effective because it assumes attraction. You don’t need to directly communicate intent at a bar since it’s already implied—but on the street, it’s not.

Here is an example of what a direct opener looks like:

2) Indirect to Direct Opener

This is when you go up and ask a neutral question like, “Hey, do you know where Starbucks is?” Then, after a few seconds, you shift into showing intent:

“I’m just kidding, I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi.”

The advantage here is that it gives her some breathing room. Girls get approached often and might auto-reject direct openers, even if they think you’re cute. This opener bypasses that by easing them into the interaction.

The indirect part shouldn’t last more than 20 seconds. If you stretch it out too long, it can feel like you’re wasting her time or lacking confidence.

This type of opener is best for street game or daytime approaches—not bars or clubs, where it can come off weak.

Here is an example of how this opener looks like in real life

3) Situational Opener

This is when you comment on something in the environment or something involving both of you. For example:

• At a grocery store: “Ooh, don’t get that.” (then a few seconds later follow with, “Just kidding, I just wanted to meet you real quick.”)
• Walking down the street: “Hey, I think we just had a moment.”
• If she’s texting: “Damn, you’re texting faster than the speed of light.”

The situational opener works everywhere and is arguably the most powerful—if you can think on your feet. If that’s tough for you, stick to direct or indirect-to-direct styles.

Example of a situational opener in action

The Key to Making It Work

None of these openers will matter if your mindset is off. If you’re worried about rejection or creeping her out, it’ll show—and kill your chances.

You have nothing to lose. Worst case, you’re right where you started. So don’t care what a stranger thinks. Ironically, by not caring, you become more attractive and get rejected less. That carefree, grounded vibe is magnetic.

This won’t happen overnight, but start practicing. Try all three opener types and see what fits.