You might have wondered, what exactly IS game? And why is it called that? Or even if you understand what game means, you might wonder: What should you be aiming for? And how should you position yourself to maximize your results in game?
What is Game?
At its core, game is the ability to seduce women. Will 100% of the girls like you? Or can you spark with all the girls you talk to? Absolutely not. Any coach who says that he has the secret formula to never get rejected, is lying.
But, the definition of game goes levels beyond that. To give a broader definition of game, I’ll have to break it down into 10 different aspects because it’s not just black and white. A man who is a master of game will have mastered all of these skills. By seeing how long and complex this list is, you can start to understand why mastery of game is one of the hardest skills for most men.
You need to learn a lot about women’s psychology. Your ability to predict what she thinks, what she biologically responds to in a man, how she gets turned on. In other words, it involves an overall grasp of reading her and her body language.
Having utmost control of YOUR body language, tonality, and eye contact are a good indication of whether you’re good at game. Something like 80% of human communication is non-verbals. And when you talk to a girl, things like confidence, being calm, and being grounded will trigger attraction in her.
Another element of game is the ability to strike a conversation with a girl and being able to banter, flirt, and build a decent level of investment to be able to get her on the date. Your banter skills can be developed over time to a point where you can attract different archetypes of girls and progress with each of them to make it to sex.
4. Shit Tests
Shit tests are a big part of the game. You will especially face a lot more of these when you’re starting off in game (though it won’t go away even when you are experienced). Why does it especially happen early in your development? The simple reason is that women may actually feel the hesitation/timidness in your vibe and subconsciously test your emotional strength. Shit tests are good! If you pass them, you only gain attraction.
5. Emotional Control
Game is also having total mastery of your own emotions. When you’re in your comfort zone for too long, anything that makes you uncomfortable can get you emotionally riled up. If you’re unfazed by any problem/issue you face, you can be much more calculated and make decisions objectively.
A girl can be highly attracted to a guy and have the best conversation with the guy but he never pulls the trigger to make sex happen. Once you develop game skills, you’ll see this all the time at bars and clubs, or really when you see men and women on dates. It’s clear that the woman is into him, but he isn’t sure about how to take action to lead her home. And, take another guy who she is decently attracted to having a decent time with. And if he has game, he know how to lead, take control and make the sex happen.
A guy who has game knows the importance of logistics. And logistics go both directions: both your logistics and her logistics matter. Say you have a date, and things are getting steamy between you two, you don’t want to pull her all the way across town to your place to bang her. She could get frustrated by the long drive and lose the “adventurous” vibe and get into her logical mind and just lose interest. Or say you meet a girl at a bar who’s on a bachelorette party – her logistics are probably not so favorable to her coming home with you.
Game is also understanding that women give objections so that they don’t come across easy. She may be extremely interested in you but still say “IDK! It’s too late tonight” or “Idk if it’s a good idea”. When you have game, you will learn to solve these objections by reducing the need to comply. For example, “It’s just one drink. I have to get up early as well” or “You’re right! We shall just hold hands and bible study instead”.
9. Sexual Tension
You have to incorporate mindsets that sex should be a win-win for both parties. The ability to make the girl want sex as much as you do is another core element of game. The ability to hold pauses, being okay with maintaining intimidating eye contact, guiding her emotions to want more and more of you – these are all essential elements of game.
Finally, game is being able to handle rejections well. When a girl rejects you, you need to understand that she is ONLY rejecting your approach. You should never ever take a rejection personally. If you have the tendency to be emotionally riled up or angry about a rejection, you are far too invested in what others think of you.
11. Looks threshold
Every girl you talk to has an ideal type. A type she usually goes for, the type of guy if she finds would not need to have that amazing game to bang her…But!! there’s a huge but! Every girl has a looks threshold. If you reach that looks threshold, she maybe on the fence with you. But, game is what will determine whether you cross the finish line. If you don’t reach the girl’s looks threshold, then no amount of game can help you close her.
12. Inner Game
This doesn’t get talked about as often as it should be. In order to achieve a strong outer-game, you need to also develop a strong inner game that helps you get over rejections and you desensitize yourself to all the hardships of game. This also, in turn develops confidence because you have the “Been there, done that attitude” that helps you be more grounded and unfazed which girls will automatically be drawn to
Game is both really simple and really complicated to summarize. There are at least 10 elements to having “good game.” Game gets more and more complicated at first, until it starts getting easier. At first, each of these concepts seems really hard on their own, and you need to put a lot of work in to master any one of these concepts. But as you grow with your game, these will come together and you will improve at many of them at once.
It’s a hard and tedious journey, but if an average looking bald Indian guy with an accent can do it, so can you. Having a mentor can fasttrack your results and help you identify blindspots. Even a group of like-minded people who have different levels of experience, like our Playing with Fire Mastermind, can help. It’s all quite doable without such mentorship, but it’ll likely take you much longer (and with a lot more frustration) without proper guidance. Think of it as working out and lifting weights to body build.
Learning from Mistakes
This is a separate section because it is so important. Someone who is great at game is able to quickly analyze and learn from his mistakes. When you are starting out, you will make a lot of mistakes. It may be frustrating, because you will often feel clueless as to why some girls were super into you and gradually during the interaction, you couldn’t figure out why she’s giving you the cold shoulder and is going to eject. This can happen in person or over text.
Guys who get stuck at intermediate even though they have been working at this for 10 years are typically the ones who repeat their mistakes and don’t make the effort to learn from them. You have to keep fine tuning your approach until you can get consistent results over time (results being things like rotations, FWBs, the ability to pull from cold approach interactions, etc.).
The key is to go through your interactions afterward, whether it’s once a week with your online/texting interactions, or after each night you go out to the bar. Focus on your longer interactions where you can gather more data points.
Having a framework and following it to the T can also help. For example, opening, vibing, soft closing and number closing (in that order), and then setting up a date over text to meet and person (and then banging her after the date).
A final note: ultimately, game is also all about numbers. You have to run massive amounts of volume to be able to form a pattern in your head of what works and what does not work for you. This is not a skill to half ass. If you want to get good, you need to really commit to it and put in the work.
Game is about attracting women consistently, but it’s also about so much more. It’s simple yet complicated. It’s straightforward yet nuanced. It’s easy to define and it’s also at least a dozen different definitions. Hopefully this article gives you a better sense of the underlying pillars of game, and how you can evolve to improve your game further. If you have any questions, leave them in the comments!