Why Most Modern Dating Advice Fails Men?

A lot of dating advice for men and manosphere talking points are dead wrong. Today I want to break down 7 pieces of dating “wisdom” you’ve probably heard before and explain why they’re mostly bullshit. If any of these surprise you…good. That usually means it’s worth reading.

1) Dating hasn’t “gotten worse” the way people think

There’s this popular belief that dating was great for hundreds of years… and only recently went to shit. That’s factually false.

• In the 1700s, Jane Austen was writing about women choosing charming, unreliable men over stable ones, long before dating apps
• In the 1800s, people didn’t “ghost”… they deserted. It was so common that newspapers ran ads from abandoned spouses trying to locate partners who literally vanished, changed their name, and remarried.
• In the 1900s, Dear John letters were normal. Women regularly ended marriages by mail while their husbands were overseas at war.

People have always cheated. People have always made selfish choices. People have always had their hearts broken. Some people also had great marriages, just like today.

A lot of guys romanticize the 1950s, but here’s the reality. You often married the first girl you slept with. Ask yourself honestly, would you want to marry the first girl you ever slept with? For me, that’s a hard no.

Women were also deeply unhappy in many cases, medicated at massive levels, and expected to suffer quietly. (If you want a good depiction of this, watch Revolutionary Road.)

Technology changed. Human nature didn’t.

2) Dating apps didn’t ruin dating

Before apps, people dated coworkers, friends, church members, classmates, or neighbors. It wasn’t that people behaved better — they just had fewer options.

Dating apps didn’t make people selfish or disloyal. They revealed who already was. More choice exposes: Who lacks loyalty, who chases novelty, and who doesn’t know what they want

That’s not an app problem. That’s a human problem. Apps are a magnifying glass, not a poison. If apps truly “ruined dating”:

• Attractive, socially savvy men wouldn’t succeed on them
• Women wouldn’t form relationships through them
• People would have abandoned them entirely

And no, Tinder showing a user drop doesn’t mean people quit dating apps. They switched. Hinge, for example, has grown 38% year-over-year, along with many niche apps.

The real problem isn’t apps.

For men, it’s not understanding photos, messaging, and how to set dates.

For women, it’s not knowing how to communicate what they want and effectively screening out guys who don’t want the same thing

Apps work if you understand human nature instead of fighting it.

3) Women don’t communicate nearly as well as they think

There’s this cultural assumption that women are “better communicators.” Not exactly.

Women tend to communicate emotion – how they feel in the moment. Men tend to communicate information – facts about the situation. And both sides are terrible at translating for the other.

Communication is a skill that needs to be developed for both men and women. One of the biggest causes of poor communication and relationship issues in general is a lack of self-awareness.

People simply don’t realize how their behavior affects the other person and are incapable of truly putting themselves in the other person’s shoes. And that’s the hidden cause of a lot of failed marriages and relationships

4) Men and women are taught completely different rules

Men are taught to:

A) Be respectful
B) Be a gentleman
C) Be a provider

All things that are largely useless. And none of which creates attraction.

They’re not taught:

1. How attraction actually works
2. How to flirt or build sexual tension
3. How to set boundaries
4. What earns real respect from women (Hint: it’s not opening doors.)

Women, on the other hand, are taught:

1. What to expect from men
2. How to be treated “like a princess”

But not:

1. How to treat men
2. How male communication works
3. What men actually want in a relationship

That mismatch creates resentment on both sides.

5) People who “won’t settle” usually end up alone

There is no perfect partner. Every relationship has trade-offs. The goal isn’t perfection — it’s fit. Who shares your values? Who adds far more to your life than they subtract?

Red-pill guys obsess over cooking and cleaning, but those are trivial. You can pay someone to do your chores. But you can’t pay someone to make you feel loved, someone to grow with, someone who will be by your side no matter what. Those are the things that actually determine long-term happiness.

6) Men should date multiple women early

The goal is not to “play girls”, but to avoid scarcity thinking. Scarcity makes men:

• Project fantasies on to girls they meet
• Ignore red flags
• Commit way too fast

It’s extremely common for men to wife up the first attractive woman willing to sleep with them .while ignoring things like loyalty, honesty, stability, and mental health. Those are the traits that determine whether the girl you’re dating is going to make a great long-term partner or cause you nothing but trouble

Abundance leads to better choices.

7) Almost nobody is truly ugly

The number of people who are genuinely unattractive is about the same as that of those who are genuinely beautiful. Very small.

Over 90% of people are genetically between a 4 and a 7.

The people doing well in dating usually aren’t genetically superior — they’re just better at three things

1) Presenting themselves (I.e grooming, fitness, style, fashion)
2) Putting themselves out there and running volume
3) Having good game and taking social risks

Most people aren’t born unattractive. They just don’t take care of themselves. Here is a good example of a guy who went from being unfuckable to getting great results

If you guys, want to see the full video that breaks this down in more detail along with more real-life examples, check out the video below. Or go here to learn exactly how to get laid in 2025