How to Have Sex On the First Date

Guide To Having Sex On The First Date

In this guide, I’m going to show you how to get laid on the first date – even if you’re a virgin. You will learn the 5 crucial tips that are designed to help you have sex on the date. As well as the common mistakes guys are making which are causing them to strike out.

The Mindset

Before getting into the details, I want to make one thing clear. Wanting to have sex with the girl on the first date is NOT a bad thing. A lot of guys have certain hangups about sex. Whether from their parents, their culture. Maybe you’ve been shamed for you sexual desires in the past.

Whatever the case, forget all that. Drill the following into your head. Good sex is a WIN for the guy and a WIN for the girl. You’re going in with good intentions and you want to have a pleasurable and fun evening with her. Nothing wrong with that.

Sex is completely natural. And, unlike the traditional “wait until the third date” crap most dating coaches advocate, having sex on the first date will help you stand out from the other guys from Tinder she’s talking to

5 Reasons why its important to have sex on the first date

1. It increases your chances of seeing the girl again – Sex is the ultimate form of investment for a girl. If she fucks you, she is going to generally want to see a return on that investment (i.e a second date). This is especially true if you can fuck her well since most guys suck in bed and lots of women go long periods between good sexual experiences.

2. If you don’t, another guy might – If you don’t fuck on the first date, and she fucks another guy before you get a chance to have a second date, she might just go with that guy since she is more invested. You might as well go for it from the start and not end up being told she “just didn’t feel a connection”

3. It builds a connection – First dates can be awkward. You’re complete strangers, feeling each other out. People, especially women, will often put on a front or a “mask” to present themselves as they wish to be seen, not as they are. Only after you’ve had sex does the mask go away and generating a real connection becomes a lot easier (especially if the sex was good).

4. It reprograms your mind – If you don’t have a lot of experience with dating, going for sex on the first date can seem scary. What if she rejects me? What if she freaks out? What if I can’t get it up? You’re probably facing with doubt and anxiety. That’s exactly why you have to go for it. Trying to fuck on the first date will help your subconscious internalize that it’s not a big deal and you have nothing to be scared of.

5. To find out if there’s sexual chemistry There’s nothing worse than going on a bunch of dates with a girl, building up the moment in your head, waiting to FINALLY see her naked and have sex. Then the moment comes and….she’s terrible in bed. All that time wasted. If you’d went for it on the first date, you would have saved a lot of time and maybe already found another girl by now that you’re sexually compatible with.

How to have sex on the first date?

1) Set the right vibe/frame

You want to show that you are a dominant sexual man from the start and create a fun and flirty vibe. But the biggest thing, is to build sexual tension. For cold approach (especially during the daytime), I do this more implicitly. I rarely make very blatant sexual remarks or try to be all over her. Instead, I am more implicit and suggestive. I build sexual tension by holding very strong eye contact, having a solid body language, slowing down my speech, and sexual innuendos. At the same time, I keep the vibe very fun and flirty, positioning myself as a potential lover.

On dating apps, you can be a bit more explicit. However, the majority of the time it is not necessary. I find it’s best to take a middle approach. Use sexual innuendos and light statements of intent, while giving yourself just enough plausible deniability to avoid the “you just want sex” objection. Most guys don’t do this though, they are super platonic and avoid taking any social risks because they either don’t want to lose the girl or are worried about coming off as a creep. This often results in either the girl getting bored or a platonic date where nothing happens.

2) Screening the girl

This is harder to do if you’re meeting the girl from cold approach. You have to gauge her reaction to flirting and mild sexualization. If she’s into it, keep turning up the temperature. On Tinder, I used to screen very explicitly, by asking a girl “What are you looking for on here?” after getting investment from her. This is by no means a bad strategy and is how a lot of my early lays happened. Only use if you have at least a semi-sexual profile, otherwise the girl will give you the “looking for genuine connections” type answer and it will be difficult to sexualize.

Nowadays, I prefer to screen more implicitly throughout the whole interaction. Also, there is an additional level of screening that takes place when I go to setup the date and invite her straight to my “romantic balcony:

3) Setting up the Date

This is a small, but extremely crucial step to get right. You want to avoid dates that have a lower probability of resulting in sex. This is things like: food dates, activity dates, group dates, and any date where the logistics aren’t optimal.

Personally, I will only do 4 types of first dates: Straight to my place, straight to her place, a bar walking distance to my place, or a walk near my place. That’s it. I save the funky activity dates for after I banged the girl, and she becomes my booty call. Regardless of whether this was a cold approach lead or a tinder lead, the vast majority of time my first date proposal is inviting the girls straight over. Typically, I will say “To split a bottle of wine on my romantic patio” to take some of the pressure off. If you follow everything I’ve outlined so far, you will generally get 3 types of responses

a) Compliance – You’d be surprised at how many girls agree to come straight over, if you created the right vibe from the start. Some might have a concern that needs to be addressed first (safety, no expectations, etc.) Then, if you properly address these concerns, they will agree. These will on average be the most DTF girls. About 50% of the girls that I meet wind up coming straight over on the first date (including the ones I meet from cold approach).

b) Request to meet in public – These are the chicks who will want to meet in public first. I will then simply just propose a bar that is a short walk from my place. And, the majority of the time, they will thank me for being understanding. That is because I was very congruent from the start and me inviting them straight over is something they expected. In their minds, I’m not a “nice guy” who is trying to “pull one over on them” and thus they are pleased that I am totally cool about meeting them at a bar first. These chicks are also typically dtf, but aren’t as “sold” yet.

c) Outrage – These are the girls who will get butthurt because you invited them straight over. Now, if you have followed my advice from the start, this should rarely happen. However, a few will occasionally slip through the cracks. Fortunately, by inviting them straight over, you’re screening out the girls who very likely would have been a waste of your time.

Pro Tip: NEVER agree to do halfway dates. They are typically a giant waste of time. And, quite often by holding your frame, some girls who initially insisted on meeting halfway will agree to meeting at near your place.

4) Preparing for the Date

This is also very important and a lot of this should be common sense that is unfortunately sometimes ignored. First off, you want to clean your place. Seeing trash everywhere will turn off most chicks. You don’t have to go crazy, just tidy your place up a bit. Make sure there’s no food or dirty laundry everywhere.

Secondly, you want to clean yourself. Take a shower and put on deodorant before your date. Nothing turns a girl off like body odor, so don’t be that guy. Use a LITTLE BIT of cologne if you have some. Thirdly, have some chill music playing in the background. Believe it or not, this makes a difference.

Some good background music has a strong subconscious effect and will reduce the awkwardness of meeting a stranger (if a chick is particularly shy or tense, I will actually ask her what her favorite type of music is and then put it on. This works really well and subconsciously creates instant comfort for her).

Condoms: don’t have just one condom in your house. Assume you’re going to go multiple rounds with the girl. Have several stashed by the couch, some in your bedroom, leave some in your car, carry some in your wallet/jacket pocket. Always have multiple condoms available.

Last but not least, have a variety of alcohol. Personally, I will have wine, vodka and tequila. No, I’m not trying to get the girl drunk but, I know that just by having a drink in her hand will help her subconsciously relax and take the pressure off. Most girls want to be able to say something like “Yeah, you know we had a few drinks, and one thing lead to another” So, I try to give her that opportunity.

Now, if you’re one of those people who doesn’t like to drink, you can just have a sip or 2 of whatever you poured yourself. She’s not going to be watching exactly how much you drink. Having some sparkling water or coffee in the house in case she doesn’t want to drink alcohol is a good plan as well.

Pro tip: Have a few sex toys on your bedroom night stand. Typically, I will put my hitachi magic wand (A must buy) and a pair of handcuffs. I like to do this, because when the chick sees the toys, she will almost always get intrigued, and the conversation will rapidly turn sexual. This may seem intimidating for some, but I have been doing this 2 years now and never once had it backfire.

5) The Date

I have a full section dedicated to this in my course, covering everything from first impressions, to handling LMR, to maximizing your retention after sex, and much more. But, let me give you a few tips. Whether you meet the girl at a bar or at your place, you want to maintain the vibe I talked about from the start. Give her a confident hug and keep things fun and flirty.

Compliment her on her outfit. Upon entering, I will offer her a drink and either lead her on my balcony or sit on the couch in the living room (positioning her to sit next to me). For the first few minutes, I am always very laid back and give her a chance to get comfortable with the new surroundings. Once I sense that she is, then I smoothly start escalating.

There is no exact sequence you need to follow, just be smooth and gradual. Start with something small, like a hand on her knee if you’re sitting or hand on her hip if you’re standing. Then position your body closer to her, whispering in her ear or brushing her hair past her ear, then lightly kissing her neck, then making out, then kissing down her body… You get the picture.

The key thing to keep in mind is that she is very likely at your place for a reason. It’s your game to lose, but as long as you make her feel comfortable, build sexual tension, and escalate properly you will very likely hook up

Should I Do a Public Date?

Only you can answer this question. But, I’d look at it through a few perspectives: How is your current abundance? How many different girls are you seeing right now and how happy are you with them? Of course, if you’ve got a solid rotation with a lot of hotties, then you might be less inclined to agree to meet in public.

How hot is she? It probably makes more sense to accept a public date for a girl who’s 2 points hotter than the girls you’re used to banging, and less sense to accept a public date for a girl who’s a point or two lower than those girls.

How likely do you think it to be “on”? What’s your sense of how likely she is to be dtf? If you get the sense a girl’s a total prude and 100% has her mindset on avoiding sex on the first date or is saving herself for marriage, for example, it may not be worth it.

Tips for Public Dates

1. Stick to simple dates: You always only want to stick to drinks. Maybe coffee or a walk if she’s underage. Now, why is that? If you get dinner with her, all that blood in her brain which could be going to her erogenous zones will instead be directed straight to the stomach. So, even if she’s horny, she will feel tired and groggy. She’ll want to go home after. Drinks set a more romantic/sexual frame since it gets the creative and sexual juices flowing. If she keeps insisting on getting dinner, move on! She’s just trying to get a free meal out of you. Work on sexualizing over text better.
2. Pick a good location: Meet at a bar as close to your place as possible. Walking distance from your house is most ideal since if she came in her car and you did too, it’s easier for her to take the “L” after the date and not continue. If there’s not a bar closeby, Uber to the bar so you can use the excuse of her dropping you off to pull home. Trust me. It’s so easy to get girls to do that once they’ve invested time into you
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3. Pick the right type of bar: Avoid clubs or even bars that have super loud music. You want to be able to listen to each other talk. Somewhere chill and relaxed. No boujee lighting that’s too dark to maintain eye contact. Pick a place that has a lounge feel. More importantly, you want somewhere that has booths/couches to sit next to each other. Sitting across from each other in chairs will almost always act as a physical barrier for physicality. If you’re traveling to a city/country, make sure your Airbnb is next to a few date options.

What to talk about on the date?

It’s very important that you avoid superficial conversations as much as possible. In addition, you don’t want to just start telling her facts about yourself, cause at the end of the day she doesn’t give a shit. I recommend asking questions and using the “we frame”. This is when you talk about both of you as a unit (ex: “we look pretty cute together”)

In addition, whenever the convo starts getting boring you can change the topic. An easy way to to do this is to start by saying, “I’m actually curious…”. This stops her train of thought, and she’ll want to know what you’re going to say next.

Some go-to questions to ask which set the right frames:

“What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?”
“What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done when you were traveling?”
“On a scale of 1-10, how adventurous are you?”

The conversation can always very easily turn sexual using questions like these. In addition, i like to fuck around and crack jokes. Most girls love it when a guy is unfiltered and doesn’t give a shit. Take social risks, don’t be afraid of “offending her”

How to build sexual tension?

Most important when it comes to any man to woman interaction is eye contact. You’re sitting next to each other. It will feel a little awkward to stare into her eyes by turning your neck towards her but deal with it. Eye contact is crucial to building sexual tension. She won’t feel it’s awkward since she would just be focusing on the sexual tension.

Light touches on the knee and arm are also a good way to build sexual tension. Another big factor is your physical proximity. The closer you are to her, the more sexual tension there will be. Play around with getting a little closer to her, then pulling back for a minute, before going another 10% closer. You want the sexual tension to be in a state of push and pull / pressure on and pressure off (not just push or pressure on the whole time). For more info 0n building sexual tension check out this video

How to dirty talk?

Now, this will come only after some practice. You tell the girl exactly how you’d fuck her. Many guys tell me, “Why would I dirty talk her? She’ll just find out when she fucks me.” I’ll tell you now, this mindset is WRONG! Dirty talk can really turn a woman on. That’s why ladies love reading novels like 50 Shades of Gray and watching sensual movies with build up instead of porn.

So, once you’ve built some comfort and sexual tension you can paint a picture  of you two together. Describe every detail on how you’d start getting her naked. How you’d pin her against the wall. How you’d kiss all over her neck while you run your hands all over her body. You get the idea. About how you’d tie her up and eat her pussy. If you can do this right, the girl will be dripping wet with anticipation. You always want to make sure you’re dirty talking either while you’re looking into her eyes, or you ask her to come closer to you and you whisper the dirtiest stuff in her ear.

How to seal the deal?

Once you’ve gone through the steps above, it’s easy to pull. You just want to give her some plausible deniability now, so you can say something like, “Let’s have one glass of wine at mine and then you can go. But, just one glass though. I need to wake up early”.

When she agrees, get the check, grab her hand, and lead her to your home. From there just make a move and lead. I typically kiss her, then kiss her neck, then start kissing down her body, then lift her shirt up and suck on her nipples, then put her hand on my dick, and so on. You get the picture 🙂