The key to growing as a man, leveling up your game, and ultimately improving your results with women is being able to discern which advice is good and which advice is bad. Because the bad advice can make it literally 10x harder to achieve the growth you want.
When I started off in game, I started off with some RSD teachings. This was good AND bad at the same time. I followed them religiously and got 0 results for a whole year. But once I started getting results after switching beliefs, in hindsight, a lot of teachings from RSD were just plain harmful.
Consequently, there’s a lot of harmful dating advice that a lot of people give out in the manosphere. And if you don’t know how to discern what’s good and what’s not, you be stuck jerking off rather than getting laid on Tinder – and be totally confused why you don’t have the desired dating success that you’ve always wanted.
So I decided to do this post a bit differently. Rather than tips on what to do, let’s look at things you should NOT do.
Without further ado, let’s go into the 5 most common misleading dating advice that you MUST avoid at all costs.
5. Don’t try to have sex on the first date.
This is a pretty common piece of advice given by modern women that if you try to make a move on the first date, you are disrespecting the girl and treating her like an object. Completely false.
It’s very important to have sex with the girl as soon as possible (on the first date preferably). Because sex is the highest form of investment for the girl. If she doesn’t have sex with you, she isn’t fully invested to see you more. We’ve tried this countless times, and if you don’t get to sex on the first date, it’s much less likely for a girl to show up a second time.
Now let’s state the obvious: Don’t pressure her into fucking you. But you have to be persistent, and you have to be bold to make a move. She’ll respect you and lot more and actually be turned on by you going for what you want.
When you don’t make a move, the girl is going to categorize you as someone timid or shy who doesn’t know how to make a move or is too afraid to show her that he likes her. That’s a bad place to be. And it’s why you should try to go for it on the first date.
4. Shirtless photos are douchey.
Another flimsy advice your female friend will give you. But then the same day, she’ll go into her Tinder and definitely swipe right on guys who put up a shirtless selfie showing off his jacked body.
It’s a well known fact that women logically think differently than their emotions. Attraction is emotional and hence she may logically think shirtless pics are douchey, but subconsciously she is probably still attracted to them.
3. Women want a gentleman.
This is utter nonsense highly propagated in Hollywood movies. You’ll see a man being head over heels for a girl and would do anything to be with her. He is so nice and does good at all times that the woman falls for his niceness.
Sorry guys. Being a “nice guy” isn’t how you get laid. This doesn’t happen in real life.
If we were given an option to choose between asshole and gentleman, we should always choose asshole because being an asshole comes with a few attractive qualities that naturally intrigue women. For example, being confident, calling their behavior out, being genuine but not letting people walk over you. Women like an honest guy who isn’t afraid to speak his mind.
“Well, I don’t want to treat women like garbage!” you might say. Well, there’s a fine line being being something of an asshole and mistreating women.
2. Happy wife, happy life.
This sets such a wrong narrative of how the marriage dynamics should play out. Just because it rhymes, doesn’t make it true. In fact, it’s not the opposite either. As usual, it’s somewhere in the middle.
When you constantly try to cater to your wife (or significant other’s needs) and only focus on her happiness, she will start to lose all respect she has for you since you’re not being a man who commands respect. You need to establish boundaries and let her know that it takes two to tango. That you need to be happy as well, that you have your own priorities in life besides making her happy – and you won’t just be someone who is the only one looking out for their partner.
Hollywood always sets out to portray wrong narratives that work the opposite of real life. So, when you see a happy couple, it’s typical that both the partners are happy. And not that because the wife is happy, he is happy.
1. Just be yourself.
Last but not the least. This has to be number 1 worst awful advice about getting girls. This works for men who are already good with women, i.e., someone who is inherently attractive to women and possess qualities women typically find attractive.
But for someone who’s not had success in their dating life, it’s utter dog shit advice. There’s a reason they aren’t getting results… because they HAVE been themselves. So, just asking them to be themselves is NOT going to give them results.
Trust me, I was “myself” for 26 years and stayed a virgin.
Only by changing my core beliefs/mindsets and seeing evidence to the contrary, was I able to change my life. I now understand that women like it when I’m more dominant. I’m not afraid to speak my mind.
Changing things like this made me able to change my dating fate. I only started seeing success when I was not myself.
And if this scares you because it makes you think “I don’t want to fake it to get women”… well, think about it this way: I would change up this advice to “Be the best version of yourself you can be and you’ll get what you want”. You’re not faking it, you’re making yourself become a better person.
This can include but are not limited to, getting fit, talking to strangers/women on a regular basis, exercising that social muscle. Doing things the opposite of what you’ve been doing that have not yielded results with women.
Forget About This Terrible Advice in the New Year
The bottom line is, most mainstream dating advice is terrible. It’s not useful, it actually hurts men… but it’s spread so much that tons of guys are listening to it and hurt by it.
It’s also important to keep in mind why you can’t just trust what women say, in terms of dating advice. When you ask a woman’s advice on getting other women, she will always give you poor advice, because emotionally, she cannot exactly comprehend what she finds attractive.
In 2023, make the most of your dating life by setting these bad tips to the side.
Indian “Just Don’t be yourself” PE.