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Text game breakdown

You’re literally glowing

I went with this opener because both her pictures and her personality seemed very upbeat and happy. I knew she would respond very well to this kind of compliment. It’s a compliment that could refer both to her personality and her looks.

You’re starting to win me over! Are you in Budapest?

Implying that she has to win me over in a way where she cannot reject the frame. I ask if she’s still in Budapest to move the attention away from this frame to reduce the risk of her rejecting it, and also to screen because her distance was a couple of hundred miles away.

That’s actually amazing!

Mainly, what I’m doing here is re-framing something that would normally be considered as negative (her leaving the city) as something positive.

But also:

That’s *ACTUALLY* so amazing

The “actually” implies that it’s usually NOT a good thing when this happens, but in HER case it was. Why for her, but not for other girls?

I also want to keep it somewhat vague while still making her understand what I mean.

“Does he mean it’s good I went to Vienna? Maybe, probably not.”

“Does he mean it’s good that I left the city, and we can’t meet? Maybe.”

These are extremely subtle. I wholeheartedly believe these small details do matter a lot when it comes to the emotional impact of the text.

Also, look at the other messages I’ve sent. Even though I opened with a compliment, it was not “chasey” at all. Every other message implies that I’m the prize and selective. I started framing in the message before this one, but part of the reasoning behind this message was definitely to reinforce that frame even further. Which obviously worked.

There’s a very specific reason why I know we would’ve gotten along very well

I want to make her start chasing me. The easiest way to make girls chase you is to make them curious. I also want to seed the idea of her “regretting leaving Budapest”. I also want to make her feel somewhat special early on.

Well, having two of my biggest weaknesses definitely helps!

I’m still not revealing the “very specific reason”. I want to keep this open, make her more curious to make her chase even harder.

Actually, I normally prefer brunettes lol

She’s assuming that my biggest weakness is her being blonde. On one hand, I don’t necessarily want her to think that my weakness is a physical attribute. On the other hand, I still want to keep the loop open so that she keeps chasing. I also want her to feel special, and one way to do that is to make myself appear “hard to get”. If you’ve paid attention, you’ll see that this is a common trend throughout every single message in this conversation. If I’m hard to get, but for some reason really like her, that must mean she’s very special.

Yep. And that’s why I still swiped right 🙂

She’s “different than usual”. I want her to believe this. She’s gonna need to feel special in order for me to have her travel across the continent to meet. I also still want her to be curious and chase. I haven’t revealed ANYTHING yet.

Good for you, not so good for me. Would’ve been so weak

Referring back to the “weakness” loop again, to sort of “remind” her to keep chasing. Also keeps riffing off that she’s somehow special and something about her makes me weak.

It’s quite rare to find women who actually have these attributes nowadays. I’m very selective

Once again, implying that she’s somehow special. The word “actually” in this context implies that a lot of women SEEM to have this trait, whereas in reality they don’t. “Nowadays” sort of implies that it’s something that’s very different to the cultural norm. This will also make her more curious, as it relates back to what I’ve been saying earlier. As you see, I haven’t actually revealed anything. Emotionally, however, she now feels like I’m a high-value guy with high standards, and that she’s special.

One of my weaknesses might really surprise you lol

As you can see in her previous text, she feels lucky at this point. This is exactly what you want her to feel like. You want her to feel happy that she’s somehow been able to “win you over”, which is a theme that I introduced as early as in the second message.

Time to nap. Text you later!

To my knowledge, this is the only route I could have take at this moment. I would’ve had to close the loops otherwise, which would have killed any form of curiosity and excitement.

I didn’t wanna tell her the answer, so telling her this allows me to not close the loop and I can instead re-initiate the convo on a new topic. Where I start another open loop to make her forget about the first one

So, I just found out we have someone in common {laugh emoji} how’s Vienna treating you?

I need to re-engage her while taking the focus away from the previous conversation. I don’t want to end up in a position where I have to resolve the tension, and kill the curiosity I’ve built up. Therefore, I introduce a new loop which is so strong emotionally that she just forgets about everything else logically. I also add a question at the end. This is very calculated, because I know she’s going to address both the “someone we have in common”, and also tell me how Vienna is treating her. My plan here is to ignore whatever she says about the “someone we have in common”, and only reply to the Vienna thread. Once again, only to make her more curious and chase harder. This is going to be necessary for what I’m about to ask of her.

Just had to do some work! I’ve heard a lot of good things about Ljubljana. Where are you going next?

That previous text got her chasing hard. She ended up sending me 5 consecutive texts. I have to reward this amount of chasing. If you look at the time stamps, the 4th and 5th text are a couple of hours apart. She’s becoming very invested in this conversation. I provide her with some justification of why I left her to feel lonely. I also lead the conversation in a way where I don’t have to address who we have in common.

That sounds great! Especially if you’re a wine girl

I introduce the topic of wine in order to start seeding the meetup.

Then I know exactly what we would’ve done for our first date

A very strong yes to her being a wine girl. Perfect. Now, I want to make her regret leaving the city. I want to start painting a picture in her head of what “could have been”.

Imagine this scenario: One romantic evening in Budapest together. We meet at the train station. I instantly recognize you from your beautiful & unique outfit. I greet you with a big, warm hug. We share a bottle by the river, looking over the hills. I make fun of your Finnish accent. You laugh, and start questioning why you ever left this city in the first place.

Here, I paint a picture in her head of what it would have looked like if we actually met up. Here, I’m also assuming that she’d take the train back to Budapest to meet me. However, I’m doing it under the pretense of a imaginary scenario. She can never reject this proposal, since I never really asked for it. But she’s still gonna go along with it because it’s emotionally very stimulating for her. This is where I 100% win her over.

Too bad you’re not here..

I want her to agree here or provide a solution.

Actually, what a great idea!

..which she does! I respond like this because she said “your offer”, which implies that I’m trying to meet up with her. I want to flip this frame to HER trying to meet up with ME. My response is implying that shes trying to meet up with me.

I love that idea 🙂 what’s your WhatsApp?

I move her over to WhatsApp.

Lmk when you have your train ticket and I’ll pick you up from the train station

Assuming that she’s already 100% decided to come to Barcelona.

Either that or you drop them off in my airbnb, up to you 🙂

I felt like she was hinting at she wanted to stay at my place, so I provide her that option to make it easier for her.

Yes, I need to make sure you’re not a catfish first 🙂

From her response, I sense that she wants to meet me first. Since I’m a stranger and everything. So I flip this back at her: I need to make sure she’s not a catfish before I’ll let her come to my place.

The rest is just sorting out the logistics. There’s not any real subtext for me to point out here. Very straight forward.

We meet at the metro station close to mine. I tell her “Damn, your accent is so cute.”

We haven’t set any hard plans for date activity, so I’m about to take a risk here.

Initially, I was planning to take this girl for a drink or something along those lines.

However, I have cultivated a habit of always taking the biggest risks. Always playing to win. So I decide to pull her straight to my room instead.

I fully assume that she’s down, and walk her into my hotel without ever bringing it up or seeding it whatsoever.

She’s happy with this.

The hotel staff is giving us weird looks. I’ll tell you about it soon.

We take the elevator to the 7th floor. She’s extremely giggly, and I can tell she’s a bit nervous and slightly overwhelmed. Therefore, I distance myself away from her a bit, and make sure to have distance once we get into the room as well, to make sure she’s not feeling pressured in any way whatsoever.

She sits down on my bed. I sit down on the opposite end to keep the distance. I’m not very much into meaningless chit chat so I immediately start setting the correct frames to eventually escalate this towards sex.

After 15 minutes of talking, I tell her to give me a shoulder massage. Which she happily does.

Normally, I would’ve just escalated straight to sex from here. For some reason, it doesn’t feel like the right move. I can sense that she’s still a bit nervous and overwhelmed.

Eventually, we both lay down on the bed together to watch Netflix.

After about 30 minutes or so, I start escalating on her. We start making out. She stops me at the point where I’m about to make it really sexual.

I can’t really connect the dots. I’m not sure why she’s not comfortable yet.

I’ve completely forgot about the fact that my friend is sleeping in the same room. So I need to sort out this logistical problem. In my mind, there’s only one real solution. I need to pull her to the bathroom.

I grab her hand, and bring her to the bathroom. She’s getting really excited, and starts giggling.

She grabs my face, and starts making out with me.

We start undressing each other. I can tell she’s extremely inexperienced, so I have to tell her exactly what to do.

 

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