In a recent article, I shared the similarities between cold approach and text game. Today, as your favorite Indian I’m going to go through the differences in texting and cold approach. And I’ll talk about how different situations are handled differently in each. Since you’ve already learned all the similarities between them, this will give you a lot more clarity and a jumping off point for when you’re new to cold approach OR texting.
The biggest difference when it comes to texting a girl and talking to her in person as a stranger is that you don’t have time to think. Cold approach requires being able to handle a lot of outside factors. Nerves, Environment, Volume. You have to get to a level where you can think on your feet, since you have less room for error in cold approach. Meanwhile in text game, you can actually take your sweet time to think and form the perfect text message as a reply to something that she says
Cold approach factors:
1) Nerves: When you’re starting off in Cold Approach, you’re going be dealing with a lot of nervousness/anxiety since you’re talking to a complete stranger. It takes quite a bit of desensitizing to get over these nerves and acting against them when your mind recognizes it as fear.
2) Environment: Environment can play a lot as a role depending on the time of day, her relationship status, the plans she has going on etc. So, you may have a lot of time with her, or very little. This is something out of your control. So, you should never be discouraged if some girls don’t give you the time of day during cold approach.
3) Volume: How loud you speak is very important to demonstrate confidence. Speaking soft is an instant sign of weakness/shyness, as it suggests a lack of confidence. This will cause the girl to feel uncomfortable in your energy, and she’ll often leave, as in cold approach she looks to follow your lead and how you feel in the moment.
If you can play these above factors to your advantage in cold approaching, even without good verbals or lots of experience, you’ll see an increase in results.
With that background out of the way, here are some differences I’ve noticed in texting a girl and aproaching her cold:
- Verbal game: In cold approach, a lot of times self amusement can actually help build attraction since it depends on how you say things rather than what you’re saying. Creating different emotions along with controlling the factors above is how you can create attraction (don’t forget it’s only a small part of game in person but still important)
In text game, Verbal is everything. Tonality plays little to no role when you’re typing up a message. You will always need to keep the fundamentals and a structure in mind and move towards the direction of the close verbally
- Sub communications: When you talk to a girl, your body language, eye contact and the way you talk, express certain things you say can get her turned on and attracted. She can experience you in person and make up her mind about sleeping with you that night
When you text a girl, you’d have to paint that picture. You want to trigger her imagination, the way you’d touch her, the way you’d make her feel. This is where making an impression counts a lot. Then of course, you need to solidify the impression when you actually end up meeting her in person for the date.
- Humor: If you’re being sarcastic or are being funny in person, the girl can easily pick up on it through your facial expressions and body language, but over texting you’d really need to be obvious to get the point across
- Interest levels: In cold approach, it’s much easier to tell if the girl is into you. A lot of cues that she gives you are if she’s asking you questions, if her eyes light up while talking to you, or if she is giggling from whatever you say to her. Over text, you have nothing to go off of but the amount of investment she is putting into the texts she sends and the time she takes to respond to you and how receptive she is to the soft close
- Physical escalation & close: You can only apply foreplay techniques if you touch her in person. You can’t possibly fuck the girl over text. You can dirty talk/sext all you want to her over text but that’s not going to be truly effective until the in person date happens.
- Friends: Most of the time, girls actually go out in groups and when you try talking to them, the friends might interrupt and try to take her away from you, or just test your social savviness. If you don’t think on your feet and win the friends over, you usually lose the girl since she’s given the choice to go against her friends to get to know you. Over text, you never have to deal with something like that since she’s her own person and would probably just tell a friend she’s going on a date (for safety purposes)
Now, what is the point of my small rant here about cold approach and texting?
You can have the best text game in the world, especially if you’re just starting getting back into the dating market, but if you don’t know how to socialize in person, build sexual tension, or just be relatable and normal to a girl even after having a solid profile and high SMV, you’re going to have a hard time closing girls and retaining them after the close.
In short, there are definite differences between cold approach and text game. But the important part of cold approach is that it teaches you key social skills. No matter how good you look and how good your text game is, you are not going to have sex with women consistently without these skills. So, I urge every single one of you to approach at least 3 girls everyday until you’re confident enough to not stumble when you talk, and actually have a decent conversation with a woman in person.